Reply to Sigh, I don't know what to do about DH's meanness

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Reasonable discussions just don’t happen with emotionally dysregulated or untreated mentally disordered people.

Stop trying that or suggesting that. They don’t care about your feelings, nor understand them, nor care to.

As our PhD therapist, who specializes in aspergers, said: Do not accommodate dysfunction (and certainly not abuse)[/quote]

Honest question, what does your therapist say to do?  Grey rock?  The boundaries suggested above?[/quote]

She said that she would his punching bag, let him vent his (irrational and incorrect) anger about me to her, and slowly try to open his mind to other views and perceptions besides everyone is out to get him.

She also recommended a 10 stop anger mgmt class. He said he’d do it but never did, even when I looked it up.

A year in as he was putting in zero effort to all the little baby step things he had agreed to do (go outside and take a walk when angry, read personal emails & respond once a week (he was never them), say 1 compliment a day.

She then recommended he do a year of DBT to relearn how to respond to people and situations in a civil and respectful manner. He never looked into it or did that two times a week either.

Then he quit therapy altogether as it was a waste of $200 a week or whatever.

He likes to be left alone so now all three of us leave him alone. Once in awhile I give him a task to do and he may do it or he may explode. He instantly takes anything personally yet we barely talk about anything so it’s clear he has a ton of bottled up anger from something going on at work or somewhere. Of course he doesn’t articulate or ID it at all. [/quote]

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