Reply to What makes a kid popular in middle school?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And do the same popular middle school kids stay popular in high school?

I have 12 (7th grade) and 14 (9th grade) year old boys.

My older son has a friend group consisting of smart athletic boys and he is in many academic extracurriculars. These boys are motivated and achievers. DS is an A+ student and always has been.

My younger son just started middle school and is not so interested in school. He currently has a mix of As, Bs and Cs. He seems much more interested in making new friends and hanging out with the cooler kids who seem more popular. In my opinion, these kids just seem like they do stupid things to gain attention.

What makes a kid popular?

Both kids have told me the popular kids go to parties and drink and do drugs. My high school kid doesn’t get invited to these parties (yet?). I’m glad he isn’t in that group. I do worry for my younger son because he seems much more interested in how social life than anything else.[/quote]

For girls, its if you are slutty and for boys it's if you are athletic.[/quote]

Wait if the girls are “slutty” who are they being “slutty” with if the boys are just innocent athletes?!? [/quote]

Exactly. Can we please STOP the dated "girls are sluts" sh---? If the girls are SO ARE THE BOYS. [/quote]

There are supposedly a few girls who get around and labeled sluts. DS told me that the boys on their middle school bus make fun of the fat girls and slutty girls and the girls cry on the bus. DS is a good kid and can’t imagine him saying this. I said he should stick up for the girls, especially the girl he knows and I am friends with mom. He said if he said something, those guys may target him instead. Sounds awful.[/quote]

Wait wait. So you are saying the girls are sluts but the boys doing things with the girls are what?!?  Do you hear yourself?!?!?

I can assure you even the nice boys are asking for nudes, watching porn, manipulating girls on social media, and then making fun of them.

I also know as my kids are all past middle school that most of the girls with reputations are based on rumors only. I saw it happen with one girl. Boys are really good with planting faces on bodies when a girl isn’t interested in them.  That happened 3 years ago to a girl who finally filed harassment charges and won.

So the slutty girl narrative by boy moms is getting old. [/quote]

While I agree it's a ridiculous double standard between boys/girls, it's not fair to paint all 'nice boys' with that brush. I have a boy in middle school who is very athletic and therefore popular I guess, whatever that means, but he is not asking for nudes, watching porn or manipulating anyone. He's a nice, good kid. Some of them still exist. And yes, I would know if he were doing these things as he has no social media and I very carefully monitor his phone.[/quote]

Not the PP but you really think your middle school kid is not watching porn or getting nudes sent to him? Come on LOL

Wake up. No matter how careful you are, they are smarter. There are apps to hide things, kids offload apps before handing phone to parents each night. Set notifications to delete immediately, and have fake accounts.  They clear their histories too.

My DD’s best friend isn’t allowed social media apps and she has had snap for 3 years. Just deletes it each night before plugging her phone in and downloads it the next day. [/quote]

But there are restrictions where the child needs to get permission to download the app.  Every single app.  Every single time.  How does she get around that?

Or, she doesn't have to, bc the parent really hasn't taken any precautions?[/quote]

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