Reply to What makes a kid popular in middle school?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In general, there are two categories of popular kids, and some kids overlap both categories

1. Kids who have a hook - they are athletic, attractive, have access because of wealth or connections, famous parents, etc.

2. Kids who are kind, have positive energy, are trustworthy and respect their friends.

Kids will be attracted to kids in both categories. But it’s helpful for them if you can show them the distinction between the types of popularity. They can decide how they want to treat and be treated by other kids. [/quote]

I wish there were more of #2.
Some of the "popular" kids who have been mean to mine appear to have watched "mean girls" for instructions rather than as a cautionary tale.[/quote]

Yeah, don’t we all! I’m PP and I use this paradigm for talking to my kids about other kids. Some kids are mean to other kids in an effort to stay relevant and popular, and I try to point out the difference between these kids and the ones who are genuinely nice and draw people to them. I explained this clumsily, but there are more nuanced and informed articles about it here. Category 2 are “positive pro social kids”.

https://socialsci.libretexts.org/Courses/Rio_Hondo/CD_106%3A_Child_Growth_and_Development_(Andrade)/12%3A_Middle_Childhood_-_Social_Emotional_Development/12.07%3A_Peer_Relationships

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/growing-friendships/201312/popular-kids

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