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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just broke up with a friend who now is posting a lot about me in the DCUM Relationship Discussion Board, with lots of identifying information.  So that's fun.[/quote]

Details! Dish![/quote]

I thought with time we could figure it out but her behavior is really closing that door.  I didn't really realize over the years how much she truly hated me.  It has made me wonder why in hell she was friends with me if she thought so little of me.  Why did she never say anything?

Why do people maintain friendships with people they secretly despise?  [/quote]

Frenemies, yes. I have never understood this. I don't understand the point of pretending to be friends while you do nothing but criticize each other and talk $hit behind one another's backs. What is the point? Just go be your own person.[/quote]

I should have figured it out because she does she talked s**t about her other friends to me.  And the things she said were brutal, like a couple she's friends with were bad parents (she has no kids), or one woman was lying about traumas she was in therapy for.  Like, she would talk about someone else's deeply confided issues and make fun of them.  Idk, do you tell the other people that she talked crap about?  [/quote]

Is that not triangulation? Sounds like toxic behavior on your part.[/quote]

It wouldn't be triangulation as I'm not friends with the other people (so no triangle).  And I did call her out when she was mocking the one woman about her traumas.  And did try to suggest to her that her viewpoint on parenting is perhaps unjustified because she's not a parent.  So oddly, I did stick up for those other people.

but yes, it was toxic of me to listen and not to leave her based on that.  I probably enabled the behavior and helped her hurt those other people.[/quote]

Triangulation does not require a literal friendship triangle, but you can conduct your smear campaign if you like.[/quote]

+1 It's [i]textbook[/i] narcissistic abuse:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/psychology-self/2019/10/triangulation-and-narcissism#1

https://www.narcissistexposed.com/narcissist-smear-campaign/[/quote]

So we're saying my ex-friend is a narcissist?  Huh.  That would jibe.[/quote]

No, the PP talking about a smear campaign is describing narcissistic abuse. I'm not saying she isn't. I don't know anything but your perspective and intent. But your quickness to jump on this without reading the links suggests that maybe she is better off.[/quote]

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