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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you guys celebrate Christmas? I would either box her stuff up when you roll out the Christmas decorations, or if it’s too late for that now, I’d box them up afterwards for a fresh start with the new year.  I’d tell my husband either she’s leaving in January or I am.

It’s a rare case where you can have two women in one house.  This is clearly not working.  [/quote]

OP here, this is maybe one thing that has me more angry than anything - I can't put up any decorations or even the tree because her sh*t is everywhere.  I would love to box her stuff up and then put it out with a curb alert, but I am actually terrified of her.  She has a terrible temper, and we all walk on eggshells around her.  DH is also scared of her, which is why he allows this to go on.  I am a very conflict-avoidant person, as having someone shout at me makes me literally shake and feel sick, and I just cannot stand up to her.  I know it sounds like I'm a doormat - maybe I am - but I have been made to feel for so many years like I am the problem, and I just need to be friendlier and a better host.

Yes, she is from another culture.  (Please don't everyone try to guess, it's not that common and you won't get it.)  I am not from that culture, but it's hard to stand up to this stuff when every other person in the family sees me as the problem.  And it is a really really big family.  I don't want to leave my husband.  We have been married 25 years and have a tween, and he's otherwise a great husband, plus financially it's not feasible for me.  The fact that he is also unable to stand up to her, and that this puts him in such a bad situation and makes him unhappy, makes me want to be the bigger person and just put up with it for his sake, but there is a limit, and I feel like the limit is not that far away.  For the record, this is not the first time she's done this, which is why I suspect it could go on for several more months at least (even though DH keeps assuring me it won't, based on no evidence I can see), which is why I am so anxious. [/quote]

If you aren't confrontational you have to be passive aggressive and outfox your MIL. For example, you don't like the throw rugs then buy a walking boot and the next time she is out say you tripped on a throw rug and wear the boot for a couple of weeks. If you want to be really sneaky make an appointment with a podiatrist for inserts for your shoes so you actually have a paper trail. Tell the podiatrist you are having some foot or back pain. Now you have an excuse to pack up the rugs.

Take one piece of artwork off the wall when no one is looking and put it in your trunk. Take it to work and throw it away. Then act like you have no idea.

Eat before dinner away from the home using cash and say last time you ate your MIL's meal your stomach hurt so you don't want to eat dinner. Don't join your MIL for a meal. Buy ready made food like cereal or a nutrition bar instead.

Plan a visit to a friend or relative to get out of the house and then when you get back start talking to your husband how you want your relative or friend to visit you so you need to know when your MIL is leaving.

Are these things you could do? If so we can think of plenty of them. This is the only thing that works with my MIL. Being outright confrontational never works. [/quote]

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