Reply to rising 6th grader asking to visit colleges

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a similarly aged child who is fixated on a particular university although we’ve never visited nor do we have any connection to it. He uses his plans for future application to motivate all of his middle school work and performance.

I am in full support of having goals and personal standards, but I do not feed into this by planning visits or discussing colleges.

Instead, I praise efforts, hard work and resilience. I also infuse into conversation when he brings up the college, the fact that he has lots of time to think about where he would like to attend college and what he wants to study. I also frequently remind him that there is more than one path to success and to allow himself grace and flexibility.

In my child’s case, he has a lot of self-imposed pressure and I want to ensure that I am helping him to create a release valve for all of this.[/quote]

OP here. This is EXACTLY how she is, which is why I don't want to feed into it.

On the other hand, I kinda of wonder if I can play dumb and maybe run her by this specific colleges as well as others to get her thinking more outside the box. I can see that backfiring, though.[/quote]

Nope. I agree with the PP above. Do not take an anxious 11 year old to visit colleges. That would just feed the beast.

And do not play dumb in any way. Treat the request like you would any other ridiculous request. Gently but firmly shut it down. Kids visit colleges in 11th and 12th grade, that's the way all kids do it, and there is no reason to deviate from that norm. 5th graders do not visit colleges.

BTW, I'm puzzled by your description of your DD as a rising 6th grader. It's November. Didn't she just start 5th grade 2 months ago?[/quote]

I’d take my kids if that’s what they wanted to do. Especially if it was a striver college. I’d let them know what the kids who go there had to accomplish to get in. My kids struggled with motivation before we went to Boston now they have childish plans of going to Harvard together. Omg the “downside” is they do their homework without me having to ask and are both getting better grades. If they feel down about getting in a middle of the pack college when the time comes so be it.

Anyway to OP, University of Maryland does an open campus for little kids to see the farm animals and stuff in last week of April every spring and that’s pretty cool. 
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