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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DS is a freshman. Very good student, does all his work with no parental involvement, currently getting all As and a high B in AP US history with minimal effort, plus ~2hrs of intense practice for his sport a day. 
Generally we've been pretty hands off. We expect him to put in effort in school, exposed him to a lot in childhood, but did not really push hard on any academic enrichment or even monitor homework. He goes to public school. Participating in the intense sport is 100% his choosing - he may or may end up good enough, or interested enough, to participate in college. Otherwise he's a pretty ordinary kid with a good group of friends.

I'm wondering if, now that he's in high school, we should up our game. We're a donut hole family, so ultimately, where he goes to college will depend on aid offers, and while DH and I are of the mind that he is likely to be successful wherever he ends up, DS himself is focused on going to a very good school. If we doubled down, hired a tutor, or just did extensive review with him before those AP history tests, I'm pretty sure that high B in his AP class could be an A. I just don't know if that's worth it, and this college game is all new to me.

I feel this trade off between helping him get into the best school possible, but with a load of perhaps unnecessary stress and parental involvement, and letting him continue to be the one in the drivers seat and modeling balance instead of achieve-at-all-costs. Curious what those who have been through the college process think.[/quote]

If you're truly a donut hole family, then he will get great offers if he continues at his current pace from schools that provide generous merit. You should be forthright with your DC about what is realistic. The number of times I've read posts about parents who didn't tell their DC till start of senior year that T10s were not in the cards is mind-boggling. This often occurs when families live in UMC neighborhoods where there are many full pay kids. If you are not full pay, then tell your DC now.[/quote]

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