Reply to I just physically abused my husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't consider what her husband said emotional abuse.  There are times when Mommy does not want to be with her kid.  That used to be normal, accepted, and okay to admit.  She went off the rails because he made her feel guilty.

If I hit my husband -- absent extreme stress like revelation of affair, bankruptcy, illness of child -- then I would know that I hated him.  Therapy and temporary separation would be the minimum.

But if I were OP I would ask DH what he wants to do.  He is the victim and his thoughts about what is best for their family should be respected.  I would also tell my DD that what I did was wrong and that it would never happen again.[/quote]

No wonder there are so many divorces.  A partner hits the other partner one time in a stressful situation and you call for a separation? Most marriages are a lot stronger than that.  I threw something at my H under extreme fatigue and stress. We didn't separate. It was a one time thing.[/quote]

Yes, we all hate for our spouses at times.  But hitting him, for me, would signal a different level of hatred.  If it's at the point where I can allow myself to hit him or he can allow himself to hit me we definitely need to spend some time apart -- maybe only a few days or weeks but, as a family, it is important to send the message to each other that business as usual cannot continue after that happens.  It is time for deep thinking and soul-searching.  The victim should also get a period of safety during this obviously turbulent time.  If she is not there she can't lose her temper and hit him again or worse, hit their daughter.  I have never hit my husband or kids but I know, that in certain moments of grief and despair, I (or rather, the demon that lives within me) could hurt them very badly.  Do I walk out of the house at these times? Yes. But the rage is there all the same.  Most people are capable of atrocities, as the high number of child molesters proves, but control those impulses.  The bad guy is not the stranger in the store or the itinerant worker.  He is me and you and everyone.

Think of it this way.  If your uncle came over for a visit, lost his temper because you teased him about collecting disability, and slapped your face in front of your kid would you allow him to come visit you the next day?  Of course not.  You might accept his apology in time but there is no way you would let him set foot in your house that soon.[/quote]

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