Reply to Tell me I’m not the only one who’s husband is this infuriating

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need the Fair Play cards and book OP. I’m serious.[/quote]

DP. Hey OP, Fair Play gets recommended here, on threads about uneven distribution of chores and resentments over "who carries the load" etc. I haven't used it but it seems to have a lot of adherents and you might want to check it out, especially if chore-related issues really are your main or your only complaints.

It is not worth blowing things up over garbage, or dishes, or laundry (like in another thread active right now, where the issue is that DH's laundry). Passive aggression, resentment, bean-counting of every day's every chore--they can rot, fester and be toxic to otherwise decent relationships. So is this, as the saying goes, a hill worth dying on? Maybe, if it's the tip of a much deeper iceberg and he's actually horrible and blames you for everything else, not just "nagging" him about trash; but that's not the impression given here so far.

You've gotten some other good ideas on this thread like making an alarm notification on his phone responsible for alerting him, or creating a chore list for both of you (not just him). But all those involve sitting down and talking to him. I get it, he's likely to balk and blame at first, and you might say, "But why do I have to be the one to address this problem with him? That's not fair! He should see the problem for himself." Well, it's not fair, and he really should see it himself, but do you want to blow things up over this or do you want to talk it out with some specific solutions?

What he should see, MUCH more than the garbage, is how he acts toward you when he forgets the garbage. Address that head on and every single time he starts to do that. Tell him that it's not about the chore but about his putting it on YOU that HE's not doing the chore.[/quote]

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