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[quote=Anonymous]I am a data point of one, but here goes: I stayed home almost without a second thought because my earning potential was “too low” to justify childcare.  Fast forward three years and I was a trailing spouse in a foreign country without any meaningful capacity to develop a career, whilst being financially abused and cheated on by a husband who was very, very aware of my powerlessness.

I took out a high limit credit card to leave.  Six years later and I’m in a good financial spot - I got a masters degree and started a professional career - but am now filing for bankruptcy (because I couldn’t pay back my cc monthly charges in full, I just stopped paying - stupid, but I was on welfare and making $1000 a month so…).  I’ve also amassed about $50k on student loans so I could get the additional degree, which I absolutely consider to have been necessary in order for me to start making real money quickly after years of being a SAHM.  This is of course not mentioning the tens of thousands of dollars I had to essentially beg, steal, and borrow to pay for divorce attorneys, as my husband fought for custody (and won).

This is a cautionary tale. And before the legions of victim blames come in saying “not my husband!” Well…I never would have thought my ex-husband would have done these things to me either.

I’m remarried and there is no way in hell I would ever, ever risk my own financial independence again. But that is me.[/quote]

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