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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. This comment from a PP really hit home: If DH refuses to give you--the person he supposedly loves most in the world, right??-- room to think about things, that's another sign he's all about himself and about forcing you into the mold he wants.

And also the PP who said her husband “wins” every big argument or debate. That’s how it is with us.

I do feel like he is using me for the income I provide, and that’s a terrible way to feel. He knows he can manipulate me with his anger and his pouting and I’ll give in. I’m not giving in on this, and as someone said above, this is probably what’s going to cause us to split up.

I’m really depressed. At least we never had kids. [/quote]

OP I find your answers mysteriously passive.  Do you want to stay married to this person or are you fine with this issue being the cause of your break up?  If he miraculously gives in do you even want to stay married?

And I’m surprised no one has brought this up, but is it possible that you played a role in this dynamic?  You paint yourself as having been a complete doormat for the duration of your marriage, but is that really true?[/quote]

DP, not the OP. The ship has sailed on what you're trying to get OP to do, which is ponder whether she's somehow "played a role in this dynamic." Well, sure she has and she's said so, admitting she has caved in to him for years rather than face his ire. You seem to want her to admit she's been something other than a "complete doormat," PP, but honestly -- so what? They don't have time on the calendar to back up and do the ton of couples therapy it would take to unravel "the duration of their marriage" like you think OP should do.

That ship has sailed, and he's on it, heading to Florida.

Self-examination is always good but when someone else is breathing down your neck wanting you to do your self-examination on THEIR turf, earning money to fund THEIR desired lifestyle--that's not a healthy way to ponder one's own "role in this dynamic."[/quote]

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