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[quote=Anonymous]I would do it with conditions that he must agree to.  You have to spell out clearly all the conditions and consequences for violating them in advance. One violation and he is out.  Note that this requires a huge commitment from you and/or DH.  I would do it, actually have done it, but then my model of motherhood is Demeter saving Persephone from hell.  Not for everyone.

First, coming into the house means no drugs ever. That means as soon as he comes you expect him to go into cold turkey withdrawal.  (Alternatives below--this one is the cheap version.) No one reasonably healthy dies from opiate withdrawal, but it is awful.  The awfulness is good in this case because it is a motivator to stay straight. You can google DIY ways to ease some of the pain.  You or your husband must commit to being at home 24/7 during this time (5 days to a week) and sleeping in his room to prevent him from going out.

Once he has recovered sufficiently, he must go to daily NA meetings.  You or your DH drive him and wait for him the first two months or so depending on what you are seeing. Daily NA continues for at least a year. He commits to twice weekly drug testing by you--days and times announced in advance and no deviations accepted (on his part of course but you too must religiously stick to the schedule).  (No random drug testing!) Refusal to take the test will be treated as a positive test and he is out. During this time he gets a job (no restaurants!) or goes to school.

Alternative 2 (Not cheap like above): You take him to an accelerated detox place.  (Google Coleman, they have a location in Richmond.) This is an easier, quicker detox and once the opiates have cleared they give a Vivitrol shot.  The shots must be taken monthly for at least a year; failure to do so and he is out.  Drug testing normally is not needed if he is getting the shots as indicated. But same thing with NA meetings, job, school etc. Insurance almost never covers rapid detox. (You can also combine monthly Vivitrol shot with DIY detox. Insurance may cover but likely still more expensive than buying drug tests in bulk on the internet.)

Alternative 3: (Possibly not too expensive if insurance covers) He goes to a rehab that offers detox (WITHOUT Suboxone!) and gives Vivitrol. This is a bit tricky--a rehab like Father Martin's may offer this but not require it as he is an adult and they will respect his decision, and you would want him to commit to go this route. Insurance often covers a month in rehab but rehabs have horrible relapse rates.  That is why once you bring him home you do the daily NA, monthly Vivitrol, job, school thing above.

Exclamation points above: Random drug testing is doomed to failure--addicts have so many ways of convincing you why the particular time you have sprung on them is inconvenient or insensitive. Restaurants are notorious for employee drug use.  Suboxone (and methadone) are addictive and have a much longer half life than opiates and so are harder to kick.  And you are relying on him to take a pill every day to stave off opiate use.  Possible to monitor, but much harder on you and he is still addicted to a drug.[/quote]

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