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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It isn’t any worse than the other state flagships.  But that is part of the appeal of state flagships.  Kids want the social scene whether it be Greek life or just the ability to be part of a large crowd at an athletic event or campus party.

To expect that kids are not going to take advantage of the freedom and to some degree anonymity that attending the state flagship gives them is simply not realistic.

Will every kid at the state flagship become a functional alcoholic certainly not.  Will some just as certainly yes.   In the same way that a certain percentage will transfer out because the reality didn’t match the expectation.

You have had your kids for 17 or 18 years, done what you could to make them responsible young adults.   Now is the time to let them go and see how well you did.

Don’t over think it or get hung up by the half truths you see on social media.  It will only drive you crazy. [/quote]

This +1

I have two at UVA. Both Greek. One rarely drinks, or if she does has one drink and nurses it. Does go out Thurs/Fri and usually in Satrudays. My DS goes to his fraternity parties and he'll do other parties but I don't think he's ever actually been drunk, per se.   He is also usually out Thurs/Fri but rarely does anything Saturdays. So no neither are anywhere near "functioning alcoholics" but do they know people who are like that, yes absolutely. They also know kids who do not really go out at all. That is the beauty of a mid-large sized state school, the ability to be who you want to be, and find your own people, whoever and whatever they may be.[/quote]

I also had two kids at UVA and have no idea how often they went out, what days they went out, and how much or how little they had to drink. How in the world are you so plugged in to your kids college social life that you know all this? It’s really odd. [/quote]

Why is it odd that parents have kids that trust them enough to share what they are doing at college?  It’s actually pretty cool that they feel that judgement free zone and open communication with their mom.  [/quote]

It’s odd to be that intimately involved in your kids’ college experience.  It just is.  There was enough “trust” between our kids and us that we didn’t need to know where they were and what they were doing every waking minute and they didn’t feel compelled to tell us.  [/quote]

DP:  My kids are also pretty forthright about their college experiences.  Talk about hangovers/overdoing it.  Bad Tinder dates.  It's not about us "needing to know" or "them feeling compelled" -- we just talk about it the same way we talk about anything.  It's often funny/amusing and makes us remember our dumb/fun moments in the past too.  I think it's in part because we're often talking as a family group and the siblings are sharing stories with each other too (they go to different colleges).  It's kind of nice to have them know that they can tell us things now that they would have likely hid while they were in high school.  I could probably tell you the rhythm of their days just because we talk once a week and the retell it and we text every few days.[/quote]

They’re still not telling you everything and they’re still sugar coating whatever they ARE telling you.  Don’t be naive. [/quote]

Not the Dp but your kid might be that way, but others aren’t. Why is that so hard to accept? [/quote]

Yea, you’re right.  If her kids are talking to her about Tinder dates then I guess they do tell her everything.  Because Tinder is basically for arranging one night stands.  Gross.   [/quote]

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