Reply to Dh has stopped pretending to care and it’s a real bummer

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[quote=Anonymous]Perhaps you need to be specific about what you need your DH to do. Saying “I need help” might be too vague. Have you said, “I’m looking to change jobs, you’ll need to increase your income to pay the difference, cut spending on XYZ, help out more around the house by doing XYZ, etc.” I completely understand your frustration about him not stepping up on his own, but maybe he needs a push in a specific direction.

I also understand that you want to share the mental load with him. I’m like that too. As the breadwinner with a demanding job, I carry a ridiculous amount of stress about everything it seems. Often it seems like my DH doesn’t want to hear it and couldn’t care less. But deep down I know he cares—he’s just very calm and stoic on the outside. If I’m honest with myself, he’s a good counterbalance to my anxious tendencies. I don’t always appreciate that when I’m at the height of my stress, but it’s also not fair for me to expect him to respond the way I think he should. I figure I have my shortcomings and he has his. He shows his love for me in ways that have taken me years to recognize, but it’s there. We’ve been married 18 years.

Maybe therapy would be good for you to process some of these feelings and figure out the best way forward. [/quote]

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