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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I am a research scientist and my husband is a doctor. Of course we make appointments for our teens. Of course we accompany them to their appointments, and check the lab work and any exams, and add our knowledge to the discussion. The doctors treating our children expect it, and would find us remiss if we didn't. I don't know of any family in our circle who does not do this, especially the medical ones who know what medicine is and how easy it is to miss certain issues.

Of course, many appointments are routine with no surprises. But until they live independently, it's always good to be there for the odd result or medical tangent. And since I'm the general house manager, it's easier for us all if *I* make the appointments. Just as a matter of practicality.

Separately, I've always found it amusing, endearing even, how some people on DCUM are obsessed with their kids learning how to do certain things early on. House chores, administrative tasks, etc. Those things are easy. [b]It does not matter at all whether someone learns then at 8 or 18, because it's not rocket science. I didn't lift a finger in my own house until I left for college,[/b] and yet had no trouble making appointments, doing laundry and cooking meals for myself. Same for my husband. None of these things have a difficult learning curve! Do not stress about "teaching" your children these things, or having them "practice". They will get it easily when they need to.

Now my oldest is in college, and predictably, he has no trouble managing his life, despite not having "practiced" much prior to leaving home.

[/quote]

Spoken like a truly privileged person!  I can't believe you're bragging about this.  Most Americans, outside the DCUM bubble, of course, can't afford outsource chores like you do.  Family members are expected to contribute and pull their weight.  Why wouldn't I want to teach my kids to take on age appropriate chores so that my load is lessened?  Why would I want to raise entitled kids who don't learn what it takes to maintain a household and be contributing members?

I've seen what happens when kids have parents like you who send them off into the world without a clue as to how to be a good roommate.  Sure, most of them learn but it's certainly not easy on relationships when you're living with someone who doesn't know a toilet needs to be cleaned on a regular basis and then have to repeatedly tell them they did an incomplete job.  Or, especially with boys, to be more mindful when they're peeing so it doesn't splatter everywhere.  There's nothing like having to clean up your own mess to make one more mindful.  But, yeah, I'm sure your DS is managing his life just fine and his ignorance of life's most basic chores has had no impact on him.  His life partner will love how much you've done for him.[/quote]

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