Reply to If you had an every other weekend parent growing up, what is your relationship like with them now?

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[quote=Anonymous]The MRA poster is so full of it.  Men get to have all the feelings they want, but if they choose to coddle their feelings rather than focus on their kids then that makes them bad parents.  There may be rare exceptions but in the majority of cases, if there is a split and one parent accepts a tiny sliver of custodial time, that means that they just don’t want to see their kids very much.  And kids can only bond with people who actually want to and try to connect.

My own dad didn’t leave until I was in college but he never had a relationship with us that wasn’t facilitated by my mom (she was the one who arranged family activities and outings and holidays).  He spent my whole childhood telling me that we would be closer if she were so controlling.  Then when they finally split, he just never showed up again in any real way.  When he remarried his second wife was actually really kind to us and he started to see us on holidays, etc. again because SHE cared and arranged things.  When he got divorced again, he disappeared again.  Finally 3 years ago, my brother and I decided to run an experiment.  We would stop calling him and see how long it took him to reach out.  I have heard from him once in the last year.  He called me out of the blue, said sorry, it was a pocket dial and excused himself.  He lives half an hour from my brother and his son (my nephew shares my dad’s/brother’s middle name and was born on my father’s birthday).  My dad hasn’t seen him for 2 years.  My mom lives on the other side of the country and flies out at least twice a year to visit and help out. If I died tomorrow my dad would find out on facebook.[/quote]

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