Reply to How to say no to family members who want to stay at our house when we're not here -- white lie?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you everyone, this has been enormously helpful.  I think my problem is that when I have people in my house I like to treat them as my guests, and not ask them to do anything. Most houseguests go out of their way to at least be respectful so I don't mind taking care of them for a couple of days WHEN I am able to do so. I'm just so resentful at being put in the position of having to tell them don't eat my food or get a cleaning service. It makes me feel stingy and small.  But my life is too full already to be a full-time hostess whenever anyone needs it, even if I'm away.  But that's my thing and I'd rather be a bad hostess than take on more unnecessary stress.

As far as the dog, we have one of our own and I really don't mind having another one visit, so long as that dog has to abide by the same rules as my dog-- basically stay off the furniture and don't ruin shit.

I'm definitely going to just say no.  They will be annoyed but i don't think it will be a lifetime grudge.  You guys have given me lots of good suggestions for how to say it. Thank you!!![/quote]

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