Anonymous
04/16/2024 15:18
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
My PG teen is more regular than we would have thought in the toddler years when he had all manner of party tricks that blew people’s minds. Once everyone can read, things start to even out. You can seek enrichment inside and outside of school in areas of interest, but I wouldn’t do anything too different than you would with any other kid! Don’t dwell on the score or make too big a deal over how smart they are. It’s bad for them on so many levels.
Anonymous
04/16/2024 14:59
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
That is laughing out loud funny!
Anonymous
04/16/2024 14:56
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Funny, we had this conversation with our DD who is about to go to Harvard in the fall. She mentioned she met someone at Visitas who goes to a school for the gifted, where you have to test xyz to get in. We told her that she could have gotten in also because she had the scores. She asked why we said we threw the scores away because they were meaningless. My response was we wanted you to work hard and not think you could skate by with a high IQ. She scored 99.99% or something like that, not IQ but whatever the score is which ranks you overall.
Anonymous
04/15/2024 00:21
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:what did you do differently?
My middle schooler's IQ was just tested, and came back on the border between these two categories, according to the Hoagie's website. Apparently his score puts him in the top 0.03%. I guess I'm trying to figure out if this is information I need to do something with, or if I can just take these results and stick them in a drawer somewhere.
I think the problem is that a kid with an IQ of about 150 to 165 will be an ordinary bright Top 30 university student, not all that amazingly bright by the standards of a selective university.
You have to figure out how to get your son into tough enough courses that, by the time he’s at college, he’ll know how to study and how to get help if he finds something confusing.
If he sails through K-12, that means he’ll end up in college with a weaker education than many other equally bright, better-educated students, and he may not have any idea of what to do in a class that’s hard.
This is an absurd statement. There are roughly 20 million people of college age in the U.S. 0.03 percent of that is 6000-- in the entire country, spread among all colleges. That would put an average of 200 kids of that intelligence at each of the top 30 colleges, or 50 per entering class. Hardly "ordinary"
Huh. Smart kids tend to congregate at smart schools. They are not evenly distributed.
Most kids at top ivies have IQs in the range that OP describes. Her son will almost certainly be average in college. If he’s lucky.
That’s not true. There will be a disproportionate amount of students with high IQs at places like MIT but most are just hard working smart people who put in a lot of work and have a talent for their chosen major.
Anonymous
04/15/2024 00:16
Subject: Re:If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous wrote:I have a profoundly gifted 12 yr old, who also has extremely high social skills, and is well-liked by both peers and adults. He is very confident but also has a deep level of empathy. I once had a friend of a friend who is a gifted specialist tell me to put him in a sport or activity that is new to him/will be a challenge. Learning that you have to work hard to get better at some things is so important to learn young. We found that activity to be swimming. While he generally is above average as an athlete, he's not nearly as fast as his peers who have been swimming much longer. And we have neglected to give him lessons at a young age, so he's having to work harder to keep up. It has been a wake-up call for him to not be the best at something and not have something come so easily as all else usually does.
Someone’s IQ has nothing to do with how fast someone swims. Maybe teach him the difference.
Anonymous
04/14/2024 22:52
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:That level of gifted needs to not be attending regular school. Way too boring for him. Most privates would be inappropriate too.
OP here,
He's in private but not one of the top privates, or one that people talk about as being particularly good for gifted kids. He followed an older sibling, because two different drop offs and pick ups seemed like it would be a pain.
He likes school, and never says "I was bored" about school, but he comes home from school with lots of pictures he's drawn and no homework and tells me "Oh we had free time in X class if we finished our work, so I did my homework there".
OP if it does turn out that he has ADHD or Executive functioning issues,, looks into Commonwealth Academy.. It was life-changing for my gifted/ADHD kid.
Anonymous
06/15/2023 10:21
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is his IQ profile pretty evenly distributed, or is he significantly higher in one area? Is his achievement level consistent with the IQ level? Does he seem socially well adjusted?
If his profile is uneven, then the easiest thing would be to keep him in a regular school, but supplement in the area of strength.
If he has a more even profile, I'd try to figure out why he doesn't seem to think he's bored. Is he just a very easygoing kid? Is he bored, but doesn't realize that school could be much more engaging and much faster paced? Is he happy to finish his work quickly, and then pursue one of his own interests?
If his achievement level is at best that of a normal smart kid, I'd look into additional evaluations. Very high IQ can mask LDs.
If he's struggling socially, keeping him in a normal school among normal kids will not help. He'll continue to feel like he doesn't fit in.
If he's sailing through school with no effort, then you need to make sure he's developing study skills and resilience from some activity. Having no study skills and expecting everything to be easy will eventually catch up with him and cause problems.
He doesn't have a lot of unevenness. His math and spatial scores are higher than his language and literacy scores, but not to the point that it points to an LD, and it's a little bit of a chicken and an egg thing because he seeks out more math and spatial kinds of things, than he does language and literacy kinds of things, so it seems logical that those skills would be more developed.
I think he goes to school each day with plans for things to occupy himself with during downtime, so he not only doesn't mind when the work is easy, he's kind of excited because it means he can do his own thing. He is very bad at being still and not being busy, but he's very good at figuring out interesting things to keep himself busy, and working those things into his schedule.
Socially he seems fine.
TBH, that combination of aptitude, capacity, and personality sounds remarkably like my DD. And my DH. And maybe me?
We haven’t been tested, but our brains learn, process, and retain information remarkably fast, automatically synthesize and apply what we know in new ways, and keep seeking more inputs without exhausting themselves. And all three of us find SO many different things interesting - we’ve always been curious snd self-motivated that way and never seem to get bored. It’s great!!! 🎉
So please don’t let people scare you into thinking that your DS must have sone hidden “issue” or undiscovered condition like anxiety, social disconnection etc. It’s possible, and if it turns out to be true at sone point, I have no doubt you’ll see it coming from a mile away. (You seem wonderfully attuned and engaged - not the type to ever be blindsided, I’d guess. 😊)
Keep in mind that the larger world includes ALL types, and if we live big, curious lives, we’ll always be exposing ourselves to new variations and people. FWIW, in high school, I didn’t feel like there was anyone quite like me, but it was fun and “good enough” socially. Then I went to college and was thrilled to meet so many people who immediately resonated!
Not the entire college class, of course (lots of variation, even in that carefully selected cohort). But many kids who were off the charts brilliant, socially well-adjusted, and with seemingly endless interests and the ability to pursue them all at once, in balance. DH experienced the same, and our college friends continue to blow my mind that way - wonderfully brilliant and well-adjusted adults doing a wide range of things with their lives (and evolving at different stages - no one seems static).
From what you’ve shared, that sounds like your DS. If so, enjoy the ride! And try not to let others get in your head, worrying about what you might be “missing”. Try to keep living in the present - enjoying whatever phase you all are in, and trusting that the two of you will notice and navigate whatever challenges arise.
Anonymous
06/15/2023 09:58
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:what did you do differently?
My middle schooler's IQ was just tested, and came back on the border between these two categories, according to the Hoagie's website. Apparently his score puts him in the top 0.03%. I guess I'm trying to figure out if this is information I need to do something with, or if I can just take these results and stick them in a drawer somewhere.
My kid has incredibly high IQ and ADHD. The tester’s suggestion was to indulge his interests/passions but not really do much differently.
Why was your child tested? My two were tested because of learning disabilities.
I'm not sure if you're asking me (OP) or the PP. I have a friend who is a neuropsychologist and she was looking for someone for a new staff member to practice on. I had mentioned that I was curious about how he'd do so she offered. I didn't come in with concerns, and they didn't find anything problematic. Just lots of high scores.
I knew it would be higher than average going in. That's why I was curious. He's good at school. He's a very busy kid who is always doing something. But I had heard that profoundly gifted kids always struggle, and they need radically different things than their same age peers, and they are so much harder to parent than "typical" kids and since none of those things seem to apply to him, I sort of assumed he'd come in at the bottom of the gifted range.
But now, I'm worried that maybe he does need something different and I'm doing him a disservice?
Don’t worry about a thing. It sounds like he’s doing great, so remind yourself there’s no need to borrow problems.
It’s true that SOME kids with super high IQs also have social challenges, autism, ADHD or other traits that make life a little more difficult for them. But this does not mean ALL kids have those traits or difficulties.
There truly are kids (and adults) who have phenomenally high IQ yet are “typical” and successful socially. One doesn’t necessarily preclude the other.
The two pieces of advice I’ve seen above that resonated for me are:
(a) It’s important for all kids to learn coping skills - how to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, and how to tolerate “struggle”. Lots of kids experience that academically (hard teacher, hard class, hard unit, hard test) but he may not.
So talk with him about it. Engage him in the question - What’s something that would “stretch” him just beyond his comfort zone, and would he be up for trying it with your encouragement and support? It could be academically but it also could be athletically or socially or with sone random interest he may have but is hesitant to “put himself out there”.
To me, this is key for ALL kids, but it may take extra effort for a kid who sails through the academics of middle school and high school. Encourage HIM to seek these opportunities - by experiencing things that are not “easy,” he’ll build the resilience muscles and also the confidence to explore his interests and the world without excess fear of failure.
(b) He truly may sail through school socially - again, not all super high IQ people are awkward or challenged socially. But the teenage years are all about them exploring different aspects of themselves and finding “their people”. On some level, most teens just “be themselves” while also “finding their tribe”. I think it’s evolutionary/biological - a part of development during those years. So talk with him about it - not just because of his high IQ, but in part (for example, when his friends freak out about how hard a teacher/class us but ge doesn’t feel the same, what’s that line? Or if he effortlessly gets straight A’s while they struggle?)
Help him notice and articulate his feelings - and help him find authentic commonalities upon which to build friendships if it starts to become harder to “find his people.” And I would pair this idea with the first one above - maybe encourage him to get out of his comfort zone socially - perhaps at a short summer camp experience in high school with other super gifted teens. Some of the PO’s described amazing, life-expanded experiences!
Finally, I’ll say it again - I would not assume he’ll struggle in some huge way just because of his IQ! But most teens do hit social bumps in the road, and in those moments, adult empathy and support can truly help them find ways to connect.
Anonymous
06/14/2023 23:19
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is his IQ profile pretty evenly distributed, or is he significantly higher in one area? Is his achievement level consistent with the IQ level? Does he seem socially well adjusted?
If his profile is uneven, then the easiest thing would be to keep him in a regular school, but supplement in the area of strength.
If he has a more even profile, I'd try to figure out why he doesn't seem to think he's bored. Is he just a very easygoing kid? Is he bored, but doesn't realize that school could be much more engaging and much faster paced? Is he happy to finish his work quickly, and then pursue one of his own interests?
If his achievement level is at best that of a normal smart kid, I'd look into additional evaluations. Very high IQ can mask LDs.
If he's struggling socially, keeping him in a normal school among normal kids will not help. He'll continue to feel like he doesn't fit in.
If he's sailing through school with no effort, then you need to make sure he's developing study skills and resilience from some activity. Having no study skills and expecting everything to be easy will eventually catch up with him and cause problems.
He doesn't have a lot of unevenness. His math and spatial scores are higher than his language and literacy scores, but not to the point that it points to an LD, and it's a little bit of a chicken and an egg thing because he seeks out more math and spatial kinds of things, than he does language and literacy kinds of things, so it seems logical that those skills would be more developed.
I think he goes to school each day with plans for things to occupy himself with during downtime, so he not only doesn't mind when the work is easy, he's kind of excited because it means he can do his own thing. He is very bad at being still and not being busy, but he's very good at figuring out interesting things to keep himself busy, and working those things into his schedule.
Socially he seems fine.
One of my kids teachers told me that the brightest kids are never bored. They are able to come up with their own version of the day. My kid used to write up her own spelling words...just words she wanted to know how to spell. She would add details to word problems to make them harder. It actually became a whole class challenge to write their own word problems...which the teacher occaissionally used! Never tested my kid so I have no idea where she falls.
Nice idea, but this also sound like a teacher who was willing to allow flexibility in the classroom. In some more rigid settings, yes, the brightest kids might be bored.
OP here,
I do think his school has been good about flexibility. But I also think that whether or not a kid gets bored has more to do with personality than intelligence.
Anonymous
06/14/2023 19:58
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I posted too quickly. If your child qualifies, this program is invaluable.
OP here,
My kid appears to qualify, both based on his WISC and on his academic testing, although I understand there's also a portfolio and recommendations.
But I can't really figure out what this program is. I know they have camps, and a school, but it seems like there are other things. Can you tell me more about what it entails?
Anonymous
06/14/2023 19:49
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Sorry, I posted too quickly. If your child qualifies, this program is invaluable.
Anonymous
06/14/2023 19:48
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous
06/14/2023 15:19
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:what did you do differently?
My middle schooler's IQ was just tested, and came back on the border between these two categories, according to the Hoagie's website. Apparently his score puts him in the top 0.03%. I guess I'm trying to figure out if this is information I need to do something with, or if I can just take these results and stick them in a drawer somewhere.
My kid has incredibly high IQ and ADHD. The tester’s suggestion was to indulge his interests/passions but not really do much differently.
Why was your child tested? My two were tested because of learning disabilities.
I'm not sure if you're asking me (OP) or the PP. I have a friend who is a neuropsychologist and she was looking for someone for a new staff member to practice on. I had mentioned that I was curious about how he'd do so she offered. I didn't come in with concerns, and they didn't find anything problematic. Just lots of high scores.
I knew it would be higher than average going in. That's why I was curious. He's good at school. He's a very busy kid who is always doing something. But I had heard that profoundly gifted kids always struggle, and they need radically different things than their same age peers, and they are so much harder to parent than "typical" kids and since none of those things seem to apply to him, I sort of assumed he'd come in at the bottom of the gifted range.
But now, I'm worried that maybe he does need something different and I'm doing him a disservice?
You need to get an actual IQ test from a reliable experienced provider. This is too big a deal to be based on a practice exam by a new staffer. Then, if results track, reread this thread.
DP. Why is getting a more precise IQ number a big deal? Getting an IQ test done is only important if you need it to access gifted services or need it for a neuropsych exam for LDs. OP doesn't think her kid shows any signs of LDs or underachievement. The IQ result is mostly a wake up call to OP that her son might not be sufficiently challenged or might develop social issues from being different from peers. Now that OP is aware of these issues, there's nothing important to be learned from a "more accurate" IQ test. Kids do not need to be quantified in that way.
The test giver needed practice giving tests for some reason. There are also free IQ tests on the internet. Gifted vs. PG, not Gifted vs Gifted, these groupings do matter. Hence OP coming here w post. Is a swing from one group to another in score possible because of an imprecisely given test? Yep.
Anonymous
06/14/2023 14:32
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is his IQ profile pretty evenly distributed, or is he significantly higher in one area? Is his achievement level consistent with the IQ level? Does he seem socially well adjusted?
If his profile is uneven, then the easiest thing would be to keep him in a regular school, but supplement in the area of strength.
If he has a more even profile, I'd try to figure out why he doesn't seem to think he's bored. Is he just a very easygoing kid? Is he bored, but doesn't realize that school could be much more engaging and much faster paced? Is he happy to finish his work quickly, and then pursue one of his own interests?
If his achievement level is at best that of a normal smart kid, I'd look into additional evaluations. Very high IQ can mask LDs.
If he's struggling socially, keeping him in a normal school among normal kids will not help. He'll continue to feel like he doesn't fit in.
If he's sailing through school with no effort, then you need to make sure he's developing study skills and resilience from some activity. Having no study skills and expecting everything to be easy will eventually catch up with him and cause problems.
He doesn't have a lot of unevenness. His math and spatial scores are higher than his language and literacy scores, but not to the point that it points to an LD, and it's a little bit of a chicken and an egg thing because he seeks out more math and spatial kinds of things, than he does language and literacy kinds of things, so it seems logical that those skills would be more developed.
I think he goes to school each day with plans for things to occupy himself with during downtime, so he not only doesn't mind when the work is easy, he's kind of excited because it means he can do his own thing. He is very bad at being still and not being busy, but he's very good at figuring out interesting things to keep himself busy, and working those things into his schedule.
Socially he seems fine.
One of my kids teachers told me that the brightest kids are never bored. They are able to come up with their own version of the day. My kid used to write up her own spelling words...just words she wanted to know how to spell. She would add details to word problems to make them harder. It actually became a whole class challenge to write their own word problems...which the teacher occaissionally used! Never tested my kid so I have no idea where she falls.
Nice idea, but this also sound like a teacher who was willing to allow flexibility in the classroom. In some more rigid settings, yes, the brightest kids might be bored.
Anonymous
06/14/2023 14:28
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:what did you do differently?
My middle schooler's IQ was just tested, and came back on the border between these two categories, according to the Hoagie's website. Apparently his score puts him in the top 0.03%. I guess I'm trying to figure out if this is information I need to do something with, or if I can just take these results and stick them in a drawer somewhere.
My kid has incredibly high IQ and ADHD. The tester’s suggestion was to indulge his interests/passions but not really do much differently.
Why was your child tested? My two were tested because of learning disabilities.
I'm not sure if you're asking me (OP) or the PP. I have a friend who is a neuropsychologist and she was looking for someone for a new staff member to practice on. I had mentioned that I was curious about how he'd do so she offered. I didn't come in with concerns, and they didn't find anything problematic. Just lots of high scores.
I knew it would be higher than average going in. That's why I was curious. He's good at school. He's a very busy kid who is always doing something. But I had heard that profoundly gifted kids always struggle, and they need radically different things than their same age peers, and they are so much harder to parent than "typical" kids and since none of those things seem to apply to him, I sort of assumed he'd come in at the bottom of the gifted range.
But now, I'm worried that maybe he does need something different and I'm doing him a disservice?
You need to get an actual IQ test from a reliable experienced provider. This is too big a deal to be based on a practice exam by a new staffer. Then, if results track, reread this thread.
DP. Why is getting a more precise IQ number a big deal? Getting an IQ test done is only important if you need it to access gifted services or need it for a neuropsych exam for LDs. OP doesn't think her kid shows any signs of LDs or underachievement. The IQ result is mostly a wake up call to OP that her son might not be sufficiently challenged or might develop social issues from being different from peers. Now that OP is aware of these issues, there's nothing important to be learned from a "more accurate" IQ test. Kids do not need to be quantified in that way.