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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Reply to "not invited. would this sting you too?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a working mom, this is a good example of the kind of thing that makes me happy I do (even though it is a tough choice daily!). It is so "high school", even if you have no idea if you were really excluded or not. I feel for you, OP. Who knows what happened, but your feelings matter. Dwell on it for a bit, gain confidence from your supporters on DCUM, and move on, as other posters suggested. [/quote] Couldn't agree more! Another full-time working mom here. I got a taste of the cliqueish/high-school natures of moms, when I joined a mom's group during maternity leave. Nobody would give me the time of day.......I couldn't figure out why everyone was so rude/uninterested in getting to know me, as I consider myself a relatively nice/decent person. The kicker was when a large group of moms went out for lunch following the fifth group session......and nobody invited me. I sat in my car and cried like a baby. I quit the group and have not dealt with mommy politics since then. I have only one mom friend that I hang out with on a regular basis but that works for me right now. Yes, OP...moms can be mean/cliquish/etc. due to no fault of your own. Please try not to let it bring you down and surround yourself with other moms and activities that are all-inclusive.[/quote] OP here. PP, I am so sorry that the moms in that group treated you that way! :( I am picturing you crying in your car (I've had those moments, too, BTW!) and I feel for you. Some PPs wondered about whether the moms were actively calling to arrange meeting up at the playground. That definitely could be a possibility, but I really doubt it because, for one, the playground is right behind our houses - some of us can look out our windows and see it. So making calls to see if people want to meet up at the playground doesn't seem needed when most of us can just look out our windows to see if moms are there. Also, all of the moms arrive/leave at staggered times, or come and go, etc. It just doesn't seem like a set-up in which everyone else is arranging to meet every day via phone calls. I do think, however, that it's possible that the host mom feels closer to the other moms because perhaps she has known them longer (I don't exactly know how long she has known the others, but she and I have known each other about 2 years). I think she just doesn't see me as part of her circle. It hurts, but I guess I can understand it. Although definitely, if it had been me planning my kid's party at the neighborhood hang-out, I would have invited the whole neighborhood gang - even the ones I didn't know as well as the others). I am trying to give her the benefit of the doubt - that she just flaked out and didn't really think about it. But if that were the case, you would think that, when she saw me and my family arrive at the playground during the party, she would have had an "oh, crap - why didn't i think to invite them?!" moment, and then would have said to me (like, when we saw each other at the grocery store) something like, "I just wanted to apologize for not including you at the party, I totally spaced out on that one, I just wasn't thinking and I absent-mindedly left some names off the guest list, etc." But her unapologetic demeanor during the party and since give me the impression that she just doesn't see me as part of the circle. As you can see, I've already devoted way too much thought to this whole thing! :) I am really trying to forget it - I know I will soon, as some more time passes! :)[/quote]
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