Reply to not invited. would this sting you too?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would get a small card (either blank or "Thinking of You") and write a quick note saying that you just wanted to say that if there was anything that you or your child had done that had  upset this person, to please let you know and leave your e-mail address).  Then go on with life as usual.  Either, she'll tell you if there is something wrong, or you just assume that you aren't as close as you thought.  But this does cover the case that you or your child may have done something that chilled the relationship.  [/quote]

Uhhh, no do not do that! Sounds way too desperate.[/quote]

I'm always amazed.  So, you'll sit around and just randomly guess if you might have done something that irritated or annoyed her, but you would never suggest that you want to apologize/make it up to her if you did.  Okay, if you don't want to send a card, try saying this in person.  I hate women who play these games.  I won't ask, but I'll sit in misery for 6-10  years and chew my own gristle over the lost friendship when I could have said something years and years ago and resumed this friendship that meant more to me than I'm willing to admit.  Great.[/quote]

OP here.  PP, I wasn't the poster you quoted (the "Uhhh" poster) but I do agree with her that I don't think sending a note would make sense in this situation - if anything, it would make sense for me to ask her in person.  But I prefer not to do this, for a couple of reasons.  For one, I don't want to make her uncomfortable or cause tension by asking her to produce a reason for excluding my family.  Secondly, I have thought about it a good amount and I really don't see anything that I could have said or done that would have offended her so deeply as to prompt her to openly exclude us in this way.  A note might be appropriate under other circumstances, but I don't think it would be good here.

I get your point, though, about chewing gristle instead of trying to save a friendship. That's why I am going to try to just put this behind me and continue being friendly with her when I see her (which is on a regular basis).  I really think this is a case of her just not really considering me as part of the group.  Maybe she just feels she needs to know me for longer.[/quote]

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