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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are not alone OP.  I could have written your post.  I have one incapacitated parent, the other barely able to cope with their care and running a household, and they have big money problems that were preventable.  So now their kids - none of us are wealthy- are dealing with the outfall of helping with care even tho we live far away, helping with neverending financial issues, etc. It has been a lesson learned for me on planning for the future.[/quote]

OP here. I feel for you. All the people responding with ‘solutions’ don’t really get it, nor do they get the frustration of those expected to pick up the pieces (often to their own financial detriment) for people who refused to help themselves.

We just found out that my husband’s father has cancer that we thought was indolent, but PET scan shows it has spread. He’s local and my husband deserves to spend time with his Dad. Financially his father prepared, which will allow my husband to be his father’s son until the end, which I love. But he will need to help, advocate, etc, as well he should. I will NOT deprive him of this[/quote]

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