Reply to Best toddler tips you have or have received from parents with "good kids"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The best parenting advice I've ever received, and which I remind myself often, is: parent the child you have.

It works for all ages. People will try to sell you on parenting approaches that worked for their kids, or that they heard are the "best" way to parent. And you will try that stuff and feel like a failure when it doesn't work for your kid. But not everything works for all kids.

Example:

One of my kids is highly sensitive. To everything -- strong smells, loud noises, strong emotions. She is just more reactive to her surroundings and less "go with the flow" than the other kid. If I parented them in the exact same way, she'd be really anxious and difficult because when she feels overwhelmed by her surroundings (which happens easily) she becomes highly rigid and controlling. So something that might work with my older kid, like setting a timer for getting ready in the morning, will simply stress her out and make it harder to get out the door. I have to approach it differently.

So when a parenting approach makes sense and works for you, great! You found the right approach for your kid, whether it came to you naturally or you got it from a book or whatever. But if something you do doesn't work, no matter why you did it, just accept "ok, this is not right for this kid, let me think about what will work better." THAT is what makes for a good parent -- the ability to adjust, to stop doing things that aren't working for your family, and to get creative and come up with solutions that do work even if it's not what everyone else does.

Never trust anyone who thinks they know the "one, correct way" to parent. They are myopic and simply don't have enough experience with different kinds of kids.[/quote]

+1000

As someone with two very different DCs I have learned their needs and tolerances are different. Nature and nurture work in concert with each other! (All “bad” kids are not always the parents fault, and all “good”
Kids aren’t necessarily from some amazing parenting).[/quote]

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