Reply to Husband doesn't do what he says he will do, even little things.

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Reply to "Husband doesn't do what he says he will do, even little things."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Typical ADHD. He needs to make to do lists and check them off. My DH has to check his list nonstop because he gets off track. Medication would be helpful too.[/quote]

I have ADHD and at least for me the issue is the receptiveness of it.  For instance you say in the evening that you would like me to do A, B and C the next day.   Then first thing in the morning you remind to do A, B, & C.  Then before we leave for the day you remind me I need to do A, B, & C. I have a meeting that starts at 8 before any of the places I need to reach out to open.  When I get out of meeting I have two texts from you asking if I have done A, B, C & now a D.

How my brain translates that becomes overwhelming-

Evening I only need to do A,B & C.
First thing in the morning I need to A, B, C, AA, BB, & CC.
Before we leave I now need to to A, B, C, AA, BB, CC, AAA, BBB, CC & C
After my meeting I need to A,, B, C, AA, BB, CC, AAA, BBB, CCC, AAAA, BBBB, CCCC, AAAAA, BBBBB, CCCCC & D.

Flame away but this is an honest opinion of what it feels like.

[/quote]

Why don’t you respond the first time with your quick plan of when you will do A, B and C. Then do the basic plan you said.

[b]Responding would make everyone shut up.

Doing it when you responded that you would, would make everyone shut up.[/b]

Then you all can talk about nrimal aruff, because no one’s nagging or dropping the ball or holding out doing $hit.[/quote]

This is so true.

It helps both parties; it’s the core virtue of communication.

The best managers, students, leaders, households all do it. When someone brings up an action item suggestion or question the other person RESPONDS relatively quickly noting the ask, saying they understand or do not, and stating “I’ll get to it at 2pm or this evening”.

And they di, they follow through. That builds trust and the relationship.

Likewise doing the opposite -  or responding in any form, not following through in a timely manner or never doing it - breaks trust  and the relationship.

We’ve had to manage the airheads, who need to be told tight deadlines and exactly what to do. Then monitored and reminded and out on a PIP.
It’s exhausting and wastes everyone’s time.  Is hate to have to do that at home too with an adult life partner. Get a coach for that Op.[/quote]

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