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[quote=Anonymous]I'm so glad I started reading this forum and this thread in particular. I don't feel like I'm alone in this misery anymore.

My marriage misery stems from an unholy combo of many of the things previous posters have mentioned. In no particular order:

-My husband constantly finds fault with me and seems intent on cutting me down to size.
-He has anger issues that are helped by antidepressants, but the meds make him sleepy and zombie-like. He sleeps from 9pm to 7 am every night and claims he is still tired, then gripes at me if I want to take a 1-hour nap on a saturday.
-He is a loving, but totally passive and permissive parent who lets our child walk all over him.
-He has gained almost 100 lbs since we got married and is addicted to food. Blood pressure meds add to his sleepiness. He won't exercise because he is too tired, or it's too hot or too cold outside, or there is too much pollen in the air (oh yeah, allergy meds also make him tired).
-We both work full time and supposedly split child care and household duties 50/50. Yeah. Right.
-I love him and I am attracted to him when he is being sweet and genuine and not tearing me down. Even with the extra weight. But most of the time he is either mean or asleep or being a frustratingly incompetent parent, all of which erode emotional intimacy. He insists that he needs sex every single day and doesn't understand that he can't treat me like shit and then expect sex. He goes online and looks at porn if I don't put out. I let him do this because I don't want him to be miserable, in fact I encourage it when he is hounding me for sex just so he will leave me alone.
- I realize now that I made a mistake but there is nothing I can do about it. I won't destroy our lives by getting a divorce  or cheating. I thought I loved him. There was passion in the beginning, I thought, but maybe I was just happy because he was the first man who genuinely wanted to be with me and get to know me. I see now that I was totally self-serving and didn't think about what kind of relationship he needed and deserved.
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