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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks for all the responses. I'll respond later tonight.

Here's the thing - I'm a nurse in NYC. I've seen babies admitted for RSV/Flu from just being around family and friends. I've seen he complications. Hence masking and testing. Anyone can get an at home covid/flu/RSV test through LabCorp. You mail it in and they are pretty fast with the turnaround

We still wear masks to grocery store and places that have a lot of people and so do our friends.

Yes I've seen a LC. Again from my job I know how hard it can be for some dyads. Even knowing what I know as a credentialed LC myself I reached out for help because I know It could go either way. But yes skin to skin and offering the breast every 2-2.5 hours in those first 48 hours helps. Minus one longer sleep session. It's not for weeks on end
 It's until milk transitions. It's quite possible it's a non issue and things are fine or that I'm absolutely a wreck and can't keep it up and that's fine too. I want to set the expectation that baby will be with me and dh for the majority of he time during the first few weeks while we get the hang of it.

[b]I actually get along with my in laws but DH sister's experience was interesting. They would go into their bedroom and take baby from the bassinet to hold at night because mil can't sleep and is an insomniac. They really pushed bottle feeding so they could participate in feedings from the first week. Sil planned for no visitors but they drove 5 hours to the hospital the day of anyway and at that point she was too tired to protest but didn't want it. [/b]

[/quote]

Reading this, it is totally understandable that you would be concerned about these issues and looking for ways to ensure they didn't do this stuff with you. It's very hard, OP. Some grandparents just get very myopic and view it as their right to have access to the baby at all times, and view any effort to set boundaries as the mom trying to disrupt their relationship with the new baby. It doesn't occur to them that in those early days, the baby needs to be bonding with the mom and dad, and that the role of others is to support the parents. NOT to care for the baby.

If I were you, I'd work on your DH, not your ILs. I would want to ensure your ILs are not staying with you during that time (if they want to visit, they can stay in a hotel) and make sure your DH is ready to advocate for what you need. He's your best line of defense.

If you can't get him on board, I'd look into a post-partum doula who could help you during these visits by helping to run interference. If your ILs won't respect your wishes and your DH won't step in, they may listen to a professional who can deliver these messages without needing to be as careful of their feelings.[/quote]

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