Reply to Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?

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[quote=Anonymous]Class issues can be really hard. Unlike race and culture, they are less well understood. You know that if you are marrying someone from another country there are going to be differences and you are prepare to manage them. With class, the cultural differences are less obvious and the expectations can be different. That makes it harder to deal with in relationships.

Have you read, Limbo: Blue Collar Roots, White Collar Dreams, OP? It may not be entirely applicable to your situation because its about people who start blue collar and become white collar. But one of the things the book shines at doing is explaining the differences between blue and white collar culture. When you understand what the values are and how they can actually be productive in certain circumstances and not in others (this is true for both blue and white collar culture) it makes it a lot easier to understand some of the behaviors that may seem foreign or even counterproductive.

Anyway, as to you original question, no, I did not marry out of my class. I married someone who started very, very poor and is self-made, just like me. Although I have been white collar for many years, I could not maintain romantic relationships with the white collar guys I would meet in my social circles.  Most of them weren't interested in me because I didn't have the right pedigree or a daddy with money, and I wasn't interested in anyone who lived off anyone elses' accomplishments or who couldn't hold his own and appreciate my blue collar relatives and friends. For me, that gulf was just too wide.

But, it's nothing short of miraculous that I was able to meet someone who has traveled the same road I have. Seriously, miracle. Short of that, I'd say you should try to understand the culture and the differences. It will help you appreciate the stuff you don't understand now.[/quote]

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