Reply to I feel guilty that I don’t want to SAH

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I could, we can afford it. But I don’t want to! Are these valid reasons not to want to:

- I do better with a routine, structure, challenge. With SAH I would have to create that myself, and honestly I don’t know many whose routines I covet
- We have lots of help but if I quit I would feel guilty about keeping the help and so I would have to do a lot of grunt work that I don’t enjoy
- DH and grandparents are very involved with the kids and again, if I quit I would feel guilty about asking for their help and instead manage the kids myself most of the time. Would that be bad for them though?

The only things to balance against those are getting more time with the kids and more leisure time. I can flaunt my martyrdom by denying myself the second, but I feel guilty about not wanting the first more - at least not enough to give up those other things![/quote]

Work.

Also, nowadays men are not attracted to SAHMs.  It's the strange phenomenon where they ask woman to be SAHMs and then lose their attraction to them.  For 45 and younger men they are flat out resentful..[/quote]

Same! And I breastfed each of my kids until they were 18 months old! And was involved in their school and their activities.  But, I split chauffeuring with DH, didn’t clean the house or do laundry and zero yard work.

I have an honest question. Don’t people who choose to have children realize that someone will need to raise them? Be available for sick days, doctors appointments, chauffeuring to after-school activities, etc.? Do people nowadays (male or female) just expect to farm it out to daycare, nannies, teachers, etc.? Whether it’s the father or mother, or both parents equally, caregiving is tedious and time consuming, and sometimes soul-sucking. Someone has to do the job, and the job is usually best done by a parent or other family member like a grandparent. I predict the birth rate to drop precipitously if no one really wants to parent anymore. It’s a shame that the work of parenting isn’t valued or rewarded by society. [/quote]

There’s this thing in the modern workplace called “paid time off”. It’s why my daughter has all her doctors appointments and gets sick sometimes and…still has a mother with a prestigious job. Amazing how more than one thing is possible. [/quote][/quote]

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