Reply to Problems with my four year old. I need a super nanny.

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I highly recommend PICT therapy. We did it for a similar case and it is helpful.

First of all, the behavior you describe is age appropriate. I agree that it is attention seeking. The first step of PICT is learn to ignore bad behavior. Turn off the attention. In the cheese case, I’d silently take the cheese away and not say anything except this is going away now. Later you can say we will practice asking for what we want. Praise and reward for the behavior you do want to see. You need to focus on differentiating attention — lots for the good behavior, none for the bad (unless it’s hitting/kicking). Also, spend 20 min together just playing and praising him. There is a specific set of words you use. When you fill that attention bucket and affirm your bond, the negative attention seeking calms down.

This will take a while, but PICT recommends establishing that bond before moving to the next phase of time outs. In the beginning it should be only for good listening practice, basically following commands. Practice timeout in a structured 20 minute play session using the PRAISE skills and giving play related commands. This is where you set up the timeout space and protocol. Praise for following commands.

Then you move to using timeouts in real life, which should be 3 minutes for hitting/kicking.

It’s a process but really helps. I recommend finding a counselor in your area to guide your family. Sounds like you are stuck in a loop where you’re burnt out snd he’s acting out. Good luck.[/quote]

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