Reply to Would you inquire how the bill for dinner is being split?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, do you need to give a gift? In my circles, adults don’t usually get actual gifts (maybe parents, but not siblings or other their relatives). If we go out on their birthday, that’s a gift, so maybe you can use the gift $ towards the cost of the dinner.[/quote]

Good point. I will reduce the gift. I had planned to give $75 but will give $50 as the gift instead and use the rest for dinner. $125 is my limit for the evening. Hopefully, that will be enough to cover either scenario of bill splitting.[/quote]

I think this is a good plan OP.  I think that you can also ask the host (if it's not the birthday relative) to get more information.

All the people telling you not to attend because you have a budget never experienced any financial challenges or may have had problems with family moochers (or insensitive family members) in the past.  If it is a close relative and want to go talk with the organizer and adjust the gift to food budget ratio as you mentioned.

The party isn't strangers or random friends, it's family.  I'm sure there is a way to work with your family and your budget so you can go.[/quote]

But OP needs to be upfront with the host about what she can pay. Saying you are going to put in X amount isn’t really fair to the other people involved. DH and I have been the people that made up the short fall on more than one occasion.

It sucks to pay for stuff you didn’t eat or drink, but it also sucks to pay 40% of a bill that was supposed to be split 8 ways because “you didn’t share the apps” or “I only had one glass of wine”. A large group dinner isn’t the place for that. Sorry.

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