Reply to Kid wearing a tutu to class

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand when parents try to prevent their kid from being bullied (by bullying their kids, basically). Especially by middle school kids have a pretty good idea of what will get them bullied. Or the bullying is random. As the parent you have almost zero insight into the social dynamics of your middle schooler and trying to control them is futile. If child wants to wear a tutu, they are obviously consciously signally SOMETHING (could be a variety of things). I'm assuming the child is not an idiot and has some insight into the potential reactions of people at school and is trying to provoke those reactions. This is normal and a part of testing out individual identity. As a parent it's our job to support that process not to add to the kid's stress.[/quote]

You don’t understand when a parent tries to prevent their child from getting bullied? Seriously? [/quote]

NP.  I don't understand when a parent tries to prevent their child from getting bullied [b]by effectively bullying them[/b].  I think the PP is spot on that trying to preemptively identify and subvert middle school bullying dynamics (a) doesn't work and (b) undermines your kid's self-confidence.  And I say this as someone who WAS bullied in middle school and am infinitely grateful my parents' reaction was not to tell me how to dress or pretend I was worse at math.  I think it's fair to let a child know when they are making a non-normative choice they are not aware of (although I assume an male-socialized child wanting to wear a tutu is perfectly well aware it's non-normative unless there are special needs involved) but I don't think it's right to tell a child they can't wear something they want to wear because you the parent think their peers will be unkind about it.[/quote]

The peers will be kinder than the crotchety old Karens on this thread. 
[/quote]

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