Reply to Bad Bad Bad Bad Mommy Moment

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you stop feeling like shit?  I don't know, OP, I would keep that feeling for a while.  Hitting your kids is totally unacceptable, as you well know.  I know we all have our moments where we want to slap the living shit out of your kid, but DO NOT act on it again.  All this to say -- I don't think you're a crappy mom, you are a mom who had A MOMENT, but I think holding on to the shitty feeling will go a long way in ensuring it doesn't happen again.

My mom spanked, slapped and hit when she was really out of control.  My memories of childhood have faded as I've become an adult, but believe me, I remember every single incident past a certain age (4?)  They still sting.

How do you make it up to him?  Resolve never to do it again and keep your promise.

hang in there.[/quote]

I agree. It's not a bad thing to hold onto to this memory, especially since you know your kids will test you repeatedly over the years, and you may need to recall this horrible feeling to keep from repeating it. Sometimes, I feel like locking mine out of the house and saying, "You're on your own, kids."

I have two with very different personalities. My older boy is not nearly as headstrong as my daughter, and he buckled much more easily to discipline. At 2.5 my daughter is as strong-willed as they come, and it's not easy finding discipline methods that work on her. She's also a hitter and kicker, which is normal for the age as you mentioned. She knows it's wrong and will always apologize on her own accord after she calms down, so I know she has a conscience. When she's overwhelmed emotionally, she just loses it and lashes out. It's exhausting, but we have learned that it's best to put her in a safe place and let her rage, because traditional time outs don't work. We sit nearby, because walking away makes it worse. After she screams for awhile and starts to calm down, she'll often ask for a hug or we'll ask her if she wants one. We'll hold her until she's in control again (us too). Later, we'll talk about the behavior and what led up to it. We know she'll mature and, eventually, will have more self-control. Hopefully, we're instilling her with the tools to do so.

I think the important thing for posters to remember is that not all kids are alike. They respond differently and have different personalities, so what works for one, may not work for another. Also, ages 2-4 are hard and just a few months of maturity can make a huge difference. I think some posters tend to compare their 3.5 year olds to your almost three year old and assume the same styles of discipline will work. They don't. [/quote]

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