Reply to Cut-off Mother Sending Certified Letter

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I'd let it get sent back unclaimed. Meaning, don't open the door for the letter carrier, you will get a second notice (mailed, not brought by the carrier) and then it will be returned 'unclaimed' to the sender.[/quote]

Why, so OP can annoy her mom? You people who think this is an emotional war to the death between OP and her mom are missing the point. OP needs to act in her own interest, and she also needs to stop caring whether her mom is hurt or gloating. If mom is suing OP, OP is going to find out when she gets served, and ignoring a letter isn't going to change that. If the letter is an anodyne "we miss our grandkids," then OP can just not respond.[/quote]

The OP does not want mail from the mother and does not have to accept it![/quote]

Yes, we know you love the drama. But OP needs to consider her own interests, and that's probably knowing what's in the letter. She mentioned her DH was previewing the voicemails etc--he can read this letter for her.[/quote]

She. Doesn't. Want. It.  What part of that is confusing for you?[/quote]

Your bad advice is what's confusing. Why would you want OP to be blindsided by getting served when she's out with her friends.[/quote]

Exactly. Even if OP’s mom has literally zero basis for a legal claim, that doesn’t mean she can’t file suit against OP. Frivolous claims are made all the time in courts. [b]It’s in OP’s interest to know if that is where this is headed. It would also be useful for OP to know if her mom is escalating and threatening to go to OP’s employer or CPS or something like that. [/b][/quote]

NP. Let's say the letter says "I'm contacting CPS" or "I'm suing you." How does OP knowing that in advance help? Because a) it might not be true; it's just as likely that the mom is trying to upset op and get a response from her and b) if it is true, it's not like having a letter about it in advance will prevent it from happening.

Personally, I would refuse the letter. If OP is worried about a lawsuit or bogus CPS calls, she can low key start looking for lawyers without contacting her mom.[/quote]

PP again, now I see your other post saying she can get the letter and prepare. I guess it's really up to OP. Because accepting the letter means her mom will know that the letter was accepted and might send others. Where does OP draw the line at accepting them and reading them? [/quote]

OP doesn't reply. This will discourage mom. [/quote]

NP. Not necessarily. It could escalate, even if escalation means more packages and letters. It’s a chink in OP’s armor. She doesn’t need to be triggered by checking the mail.

My mom used to do this thing where if my sister or I didn’t answer her calls often enough, she’d leave a voicemail saying that if we didn’t call her by a specific time, she’d have to come check on us to make sure we’re okay. For a while, a quick text would settle her down, but when that wasn’t satisfying enough for her, she started insisting on a call back. She even said, “how can I tell someone hasn’t murdered you and is texting so I don’t call the police and start searching for you? I need to hear your voice.” When we moved too far for her to come herself or send our dad, she started threatening to have the police do well checks on us. I nipped that in the bed and told her if she ever did that, she’d never see me or my kids again, because I wouldn’t bow down to that level of manipulation. My sister didn’t want to be so harsh, so one time when she didn’t call my mom back quickly enough, my mom called my sister’s neighbor and said she was worried my sister wasn’t safe and could they go check on her. (My sister didn’t know my mom had exchanged numbers with a neighbor during a visit.) If you’ve never dealt with manipulative, controlling people with mental illness, then you might be tempted to say take the letter, there’s no harm in that. If you have someone harassing you, and that person knows your weaknesses because they birthed you, let’s just say that’s a kind of trauma that turns your anxiety up to 11, and you have to do what you can to prevent, block, and resist more harassment, abuse, and trauma. Every new attempt is a wound that causes new pain while also triggering old memories and pain. It’s not about winning. It’s about escaping from their unhealthy game. [/quote]

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