Reply to My sister has asked me to adopt her baby

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Reply to "My sister has asked me to adopt her baby"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Otherwise all it will take is one 23&Me test for this kids world to blow up.[/quote]

I agree  that at some point the child needs to be told the truth. However, I think it will take 2 dNA tests to figure it out. Child must test. Then OP, sister, any other sister, or sister's other child must test. Child will have about 50 per cent  DNA from mom and share 25 per cent with bio aunt. Will also share about 25 per cent with half-sister. However, if neither sister tests AND no other offspring test, I don't think someone can say which of two sisters is the bio mom. For example, if a first cousin tests, it could narrow it down to you, your sister and any other sisters you may have, but it won't tell you which sister is the mom.

I think the easiest pathway would be to always tell the child the child is adopted. Just wait a while to tell child who bio mom is. That way, you won't be telling the child a lie. Intra-family adoption is fairly common. If you're not on speaking terms with  your mom, just don't mention the adoption. But if you run into a neighbor from childhood, the adoption story should stop any inquiries.

The one possible fly in the ointment is your sister's other child may be the one who tests. [/quote]

Are you forgetting there’s a sperm donor/father involved here? Any member of his family tree in a genetic database could blow this. [/quote]

OP is not married.  There was always going to be a random dad, presumably she would tell her child he was a sperm donor.  I don't think she should do that - honesty is the best and only ethical choice, IMO.  But I don't think it's a 23&me problem[/quote]

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