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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Wife Wants To Be A SAHM "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How much does she earn at her current job? What are your childcare plans and costs if she goes back to work? Childcare is so expensive that in some cases the extra stress you get from work and having to balance home and work life is just not worth the extra bit of income[/quote] OP here. She earns a little over $100k. One of the main reasons for her quitting is it will be hard to find childcare given that she would prefer to go back PT. Her original plan was to go back PT 3 days a week, but we many nannies we looked at all wanted FT. We would need to do it the legal way and I assumed with rates of a nanny in the area and taxes, we would be spending about $40-50k on a PT nanny. [/quote] The math isn’t mathing. Why would a PT nanny cost $50k? What would the hourly rate be and the total bi-weekly hours worked?[/quote] I had a full-time nanny that we paid, on the books, and she was not $100k per year so I’m curious to know the answer to this. $50-70k could get you a FT nanny.[/quote] OP here. I’m probably over estimating the cost of a PT nanny. [/quote] I think a nanny share would be perfect for you guys. I’m a sahm and would not be if DH put me on a budget/allowance. Please note that if she is home, she will have more time to spend money. She won’t be spending less. She will likely spend more. You know your wife best. Is she the type that would want the nicer stroller, travel stroller, cute baby clothes. Is she social and likely to meet up with other UMC for coffee, brunch and lunch? She will want to drop the baby weight and keep the gym membership. I definitely know some SAHMs on a budget. I have one friend whose husband lets her have a break but doesn’t want her to spend any money on that break. That would not work for me. I went on stroller walks with friends and we would go out for coffee and/or lunch. When kids were older, we would check out various kid activities. All this costs money. Your wife won’t just sit at home spending less money.[/quote] OP here. We do not want a nanny share. We do not the idea of another kids and dealing with other parents who will be employers. My wife is fully against this. I’m not saying she can’t spend money. I just don’t think she needs everything she has now. We have Hello Fresh Freshly Daily Harvest Butcher Box She gets weekly massages + facials, nails done every two weeks, hair every 6 weeks, and a gym membership that she hasn’t gone to since she gave birth. I don’t mind the gym membership, nails, hair cut, etc., but I think she can scale the massages and facials back to twice or once a month and get rid of some of these meals services. We spend about $1000/month on food services on top of groceries. [/quote] OK, so I'm the PP who posted the 800-1200/month for self-care. You cannot afford a FT nanny on that salary. We had a nanny share and we were making around 500K at that time. With the nanny share, the kid will also get socialization, which is crucial and so beneficial. We were paying $25/hr and to that add the taxes, unemployment insurance, paid sick leave, vacation etc. At your income, you cannot even afford a good center, which is around 2.3K/month. Because your wife makes so little money, it makes sense for her to SAH but you need to make more. Unless you have an incredibly low mortgage, you need to pull at least 350K to maintain some sort of quality of life. I have older kids and they do not get cheaper as they grow older. We're paying $280/hr for precalc on wyzant. DC2 needed ABA therapy and the copay was almost 1K/month for years. Kids are very $$$$, plan accordingly. [/quote]
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