Reply to Feeling different about my parent's divorce now as an adult....

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your mom was a POS. An alcoholic parent is 99% of the time completely overblown and exaggerated. You prove this by showing that he never once abused you.[/quote]

NP here and child of an alcoholic. Go take your BS somewhere else. Being an alcoholic IS being abusive. STFU.[/quote]

NP and I get what the PP is saying. Just labeling the dad an “alcoholic” - especially in the context of a divorce - doesn’t necessarily mean he was this terrible person. My dad meets the criteria of an alcoholic but he is incredibly high functioning. Ran marathons. Was the CEO of a company. Got up every day at 630 am and worked. But at the end of the day, starting at 530 or 6 pm, he had to drink. He’d typically drink a dozen beers a night, begin to ramble and go to bed. Never raised his voice, never abused his family. So I’m not sure I’d agree that having an alcoholic father necessarily equals abuse. [/quote]

Sure. But this scenario also seems far less likely to lead to divorce. I would also say it not modeling appropriate alcohol consumption for kids growing up in that circumstance.[/quote]

So basically he was nothing but a paycheck. He literally but drink from 6pm onward once home. He gave his best self, his sober self at work, and did nothing at home but drink and sit around. What a role model. Neglect is abuse.[/quote]

Go hop over to that thread about what it’s like to work at an Amazon warehouse and then reconsider your sanctimony. Some people do not respond perfectly when faced with bad circumstances. They still don’t deserve to be abandoned by their own family or tormented just because of their shortcomings, especially when they are really trying. [/quote]

I’m not going to read some Amazon job thread.

If your parents and community never taught you how to communicate and positive coping mechanisms for setbacks then they didn’t raise you or parent you well.  You were left to your own devices and developed negative, maladaptive “coping” mechanisms, like overdrinking, drugs, gambling, bullying others, sitting around on screens, over-eating.

Break the cycle. [/quote]

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