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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks all. He’s now attacking me (via email, I don’t want to discuss on phone or via text while things are still bad), saying this is all my fault for leaving. That I created a cataclysmic event over a delicate situation. That I should never have left. That he is mentally unwell and not in a good place because of me. Admitted to being extremely hungover and sick and it’s making things worse. 
That it’s “unfair” that I was hungover a couple weeks ago (I went out with my girlfriends for the first time in 6+ months) and it was funny, but it’s not funny when he does the same thing. That I’m completely blowing this out of proportion and he is so angry that I walked out on him.

I’m not engaging with his anger, other than to stick up for myself (explaining that yes, I was hungover from 1 fun night I had with my friends in a very long time), to ask him to consider marriage counseling (since we’re not seeing eye to eye here), to explain why I left (multiple instances of broken promises and bad behaviors), and to please stop reversing this onto me and consider his own actions, his problems, and his behaviors.

He is so focused on me “doing this to him” and me “over reacting” that it’s making him act incredibly childish.  He’s coming home today and we both need to stay here tonight because of work obligations in the city tomorrow morning, so he’ll be staying in the guest room (or I will).

I’m legitimately worried about his mental state as he’s alluded to “not feeling safe” in the past when he’s having an anxious/ panic episode, and has opened up to me about having “bad thoughts” in high school and during bad parts of his life. I’m empathetic to that and don’t want that for him, but it’s just a fine line between caring and enabling. [/quote]

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