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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The sexism on this thread is nauseating. If a new wife appeared saying her nephews were wearing the wrong clothes, you people would be asking her why she didn’t remind her sister in law, not the boys father.

OP I’d be annoyed at the lack of remorse and the willful misunderstanding that the kids showing up *dressed correctly* is the bare minimum of participation in a wedding party. [/quote]

Yes and no. If this is a regular thing in their relationship, she’s contributing to the dynamic. If it’s regular, he’s got issues that he needs to treat and she needs to stop enabling. But it needs to be done constructively and productively. If she’s usually “in charge” that’s a problem, but she also shouldn’t pick an out of town wedding where they’re all in the bridal party to take a stand. Everyone is stressed out, off schedule, and on display. It’s a time for teamwork and helping each other and playing to everyone’s strengths, not the time for a sink or swim approach (unless you’re okay with letting people sink publicly). If it’s a regular thing, they need a plan now that the wedding is over for how to make things more even and less burdensome for one partner. That might include him taking on more, him getting a diagnosis and treatment, outsourcing more, her relaxing standards, couples counseling, separate households, or a mixture of those.

If it’s a one off mistake, well, nobody’s perfect. OP stated earlier that she does more of the household management stuff, so if he’s already capable and has the skills necessary, he should be doing more so it’s not such an uneven distribution of chores. [/quote]

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