Reply to Newly discovered half sibling

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Newly discovered half sibling"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe contact the mother, if you must. I have a half sibling (different circumstances, but similar actions by my dad). Some of my siblings choose to contact her, which caused a rift between us. Ultimately, my siblings essentially ghosted half sibling in an attempt to fix things with our sibling group. Long story short: contact caused more pain than if they just left it alone.[/quote]

Sounds like you were opposed to contact and threw a snit when your full sibs went ahead anyway.[/quote]

I wasn't consulted or even given a heads up beforehand. It felt like a betrayal, honestly. They made a decision for me and I made my own decision when I was told what they did. I did not meet my half sibling. If they had discussed it with me, I would have discouraged them. They ultimately couldn't handle the new relationship and bailed. They hurt me, our half sister and each other. Some things are best left alone.[/quote]

This is absolutely not one of those things best left alone. [b]Abandoned children in this situation deserve information and closure[/b]. You’re pretty appallingly selfish.

And yes my family has been in this situation. [/quote]

NP and not the PP to whom you are responding but re: the bold above: What if the "abandoned child," now an adult, has no idea that he or she was ever indeed "abandoned"? When you were in this situation yourself, did the adult half-sibling know all the details? If a person has grown up with another parent or set or parents and not been told about true parentage on one side, for instance, why is it the role of half-siblings from a completely unknown past to come forward and tell that adult the truth, if the mother made different choices about what to tell the child?

I realize that last sentence may sound snarky, PP, but it truly is not meant to be. I'm asking honestly -- if it's a situation where the newly discovered half-sibling has no idea about the "abandonment" and doesn't even know that someone else is his or her birth father, why do other siblings they don't know about get a right to give them "closure" for something they never knew was supposedly unresolved? Maybe your case was one where the half-sibling was aware of the abandonment. But what about cases where that's not true? Do siblings get to sweep in and say, your mother lied to you all your life, we strangers are going to set it all straight? [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics