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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a kid I was diagnosed with LDs. I required specialized services throughout school to help me learn. I graduated in the top 10% of my class from high school and went on to earn a PhD. That doesn’t means that I didn’t require special services to meet my needs. I used those special services to be able to attain success in school. My Mom spent a lot of time fighting for those services and providing additional supports so that I could succeed.

I was very much a special needs kid.

As an adult I was diagnosed with ADHD. It only reinforced to me how differently I see process information and respond to stimulation around me. I now understand why I get agitated in high stimulation environments and why I struggle with some regular scenarios, like in conversations where I find it hard not to interrupt and why I blurt out information. I am lucky to work in an environment where those issues have no caused me any problems and where I can make a very nice salary but I am pretty well aware that there are many environments where I would struggle. My work place has lots of open seating but they have always found a desk for me in a smaller room. They are fine with my using headphones when most people are discouraged from doing so. They have been accommodating of my quirks.

I am very much an adult with special needs.

Are my needs so great that I would be unable to function without accommodations? Probably not. Would I be in a very different place if I had not received the support I did in school or the accommodations I receive at work? Hell yeah. 100% I would have had a very different life.

There is nothing wrong with being different and knowing that you need some accommodations. [/quote]

There is so much unacknowledged privilege in this comment I don't even know where to start.

This is why it is sometimes annoying when people with mild ADHD say they are special needs.[/quote]

NP. I don’t understand this comment. Can you explain more? [/quote]

Because the primary differences between the PP and the average student or worker are:

1) A parent with the time, resources, and knowledge (and interest) I strongly advocating for her child to receive extra resources and accommodations so that her child could not merely get by in school, but excel above most others.m; and

2) Access to doctors/therapists who are able to provide official diagnoses that enables advocating for special accommodations like an office in an open plan office, for example.

A person who can excel at that level does not have special needs. They have ordinary needs but, with with extra accommodation and support, can really thrive. That’s true if most people, but most people don’t get it. PP is not uniquely hindered in life. By their own acknowledgement, they can function fine without accommodation. Only very well resourced people can conceptualize special needs in this way. 99% of the population would view someone like this as typical.[/quote]

No, the primary difference between PP and the "average student or worker" are that she has learning disabilities and ADHD.

It seems like your issue is that PP got access to resources and help that others did not. I agree that is a big problem. But that doesn't mean that she didn't deserve those resources, it just means that many others don't get the resources they deserve. This is true with all instances of unearned privilege. The privileges themselves aren't the problem. The fact that others are denied them is what needs to be changed. I assume you would take no issue with PP's comment were the system to better serve those with greater impairments.

It is absolutely untrue that somebody who can excel doesn't have special needs, regardless of how 99% of the population sees them. This is the big issue with being twice exceptional. Somebody can look like they are doing okay because their intelligence seems to counteract their impairments. But without accommodations typically 2e kids (and adults) are a ball of anxiety and shame about "not reaching their potential." It isn't just about the grades or the career, it's about overall wellbeing. The idea that we should only apportion resources to help people function, not thrive, seems to dismiss the potential severe mental health consequences of being denied accommodations for ADHD or learning disabilities (although I wouldn't even say we are trying to get people to thrive, I'd say we are trying to help them lead a life that isn't substantially more difficult than the lives of neurotypical people). [/quote]

I mean, I’m a big ball of shame and anxiety about not meeting my potential at work. Am I special needs?

At a certain point, this IS objective. A disability has to be defined as something that truly burdens the ability to conduct life activities. People who get PhDs, hold down jobs, have families…. are not disabled. [/quote]

I disagree. My twice-exceptional sibling has to work about twelve to fifteen extra hours a week to perform at the same level as her coworkers. I’ve seen her doing paperwork on Christmas, she was so overwhelmed.  She’s always the last to leave and works an extra day on the weekend, every weekend. She’s unable to date, due to her schedule, and will never be able to have kids, because she’s missed her fertility window. So yes, she has a PHD, but her ADHD has wildly impacted her life, even with the diagnosis. She chose to be successful, and had to give up absolutely everything else. This might sound normal if she were in Big Law, but she’s pulling in under $100,000 and none of her coworkers do this. ADHD is absolutely a special need. [/quote]

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