Reply to Dear Mom I am ugly stop trying to pretend you dont see it

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Reply to "Dear Mom I am ugly stop trying to pretend you dont see it"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I want to let you know a few things:

1. I was always beautiful and always complimented on my beauty. It ended up being the worst thing for me - my entire self-esteem was built on it, I never worked to improve myself because there was always my beauty to fall back on. Now I am almost 40 and the beauty is gone. I diet, I exercise, I get Botox, but at the end of the day I am still aging and I am not beautiful anymore, at least not like I was 20 years ago. And now I don't have the option of using my looks to land a man to take care of me.

And NOT being beautiful anymore has been the absolute best thing for me. For the first time in my life, I am building my self esteem on *who I am* rather than what I look like. I am learning to get validation from within rather from others. I am trying to be a role model for my own girls, so they see what a confident, capable woman looks like. It's been so hard, but so worth it.

2. As a mom to 2 girls, I promise you, your mom does not see your "ugliness". When my girls were born my brain broke and now all I see is how beautiful they are. I'm so sorry your mom is dismissive - parents shouldn't be dismissive - but I know it would absolutely break my heart if my girls thought they were ugly. Because they're not, even if society says they are.

3. Please remember that cultural standards of beauty are completely manufactured. There is nothing inherently more beautiful about certain people. Billions of dollars are made by convincing everyone that only certain people are beautiful, and that they need to spend thousands of dollars trying to look like that person.

4. Please don't let how you feel about your looks hold you back from living a full, happy life. My biggest regret - as with most people - is not living a full life when I was younger. You are 20, you have decades of life left, and it becomes so much more joyful when you live life on your terms. If you really want to understand what I mean, spend some time volunteering with the elderly. When you hear all their tales of regret, you realize you don't want to live that way.[/quote]

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