Reply to Am I doing my 5yo a disservice by not having him in activities?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I realize this Q may sound troll-ish given the dcum persona of the kid with 27 activities - but it’s a real question.

My rising K son has tried soccer, an art class, baseball, and ninja over the last couple years.  He’s liked it all while doing it but when I ask him if he wants to re-enroll he says no thanks.  He prefers open afternoons to go to the playground, go on bike rides, work on puzzles, play with brothers etc.  With K starting I’m thinking about just not enrolling him in anything since it’ll be the first time he’s in full time school and really feels like so much of his time is already structured with school that after school activities would give him no time left to play.

But I worry I’m doing him a disservice for 2 reasons:
1) opportunity to make friends over a shared activity and have friendships beyond school 
2) setting him up to miss out on being “good” at any sport bc he started too late. I realize that kind of sounds crazy, but is it? He had a little natural talent for soccer but if he doesn’t play again until 7 or 8 or something won’t he be basically way behind eveyone playing soccer at 7 or 8?  I see 3yos taking tennis lessons, if he started at 10 is he resigned to the bumpkin level and no chance of playing in HS?  I already feel like he’s kind of behind in sports bc there are some kids that basically start year round so young (and have a parent that plays with them a ton which we can’t) but I don’t want to entirely miss the boat and make it so he can’t play at a reasonable level something he enjoys down the road

Not looking for a broader commentary if kids sports in generally have gone horribly crazy, really just want to make sure that he will be able to play a HS sport if he enjoys it versus being too far behind bc I started him too late[/quote]

Trust your gut. if your child is enjoying being at home and doing those activities, then great. If your child is telling you he is bored a lot, then maybe look for something he might be interested in. He can start playing a sport at whatever age but you need to be comfortable with the fact that he is going to be behind most of the other kids and that you might need to help him at home practice a bit. Not everyone is looking for people to hang out with and things to do.

The reality is that you can find a balance between activities and down time. We asked DS before putting him in activities and he can tell us if he wants to re-enroll. He has chosen to do a good amount. He is also an only child, so activities give him different groups of kids to play with and hang out with. But even with a good number of activities, he has a couple of nights a week free and he has a good chunk of time on the weekend free. Most of his activities are late enough now , he is 10, that he can come home, have a snack, and play with friends before heading off to practice or Scouts.

You know your kid best. If he is choosing to be at home and playing with toys and friends outside, awesome. If he wants to be at home to play video games or is always bored, you probably need to rethink. But trust your instinct. Not every kid is interested in playing a sport or an instrument. [/quote]

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