Reply to Husband cheated with high school sweetheart

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This sounds pretty hot honestly.[/quote]

Yep.

Op - be honest.

1. Who is prettier?
2. Emotionally you’ll never have the connection with dh that she had in her teens with him [/quote]

This site is the worst. PPs, you are psychos to hurt OP like this.

OP, I’m not in the all cheaters are awful camp , so I’ll get roasted here too but consider that we are all human, we make mistakes, and sometimes we fall in love with people we shouldn’t . (That said, she sounds really awful.)

PS No, I’ve neither cheated nor been cheated on but I have been tempted and found it a very difficult time. I hope I would have compassion for my DH if he found himself in a similar situation and gave into temptation.[/quote]

DP. While this post is trying to approach OP's situation with kind thoughtfulness, PP, and you mean well, and I'm really not here to roast you at all -- I do want to note that it's inaccurate to compare her DH's [i]three-year[/i] affair with someone merely "giving in to temptation."

A one night stand could be called "giving in to temptation." A three-year affair, with carefully planned rendezvous on the DH's work trips out of town--surely requiring some serious advance planning and logistics between him and the other woman--is absolutely not a momentary caving to temptation. It doesn't deserve OP's compassion. It's a devastating revelation that the DH was willing to put in a great deal of effort to create another life, one dismissing the existence of his wife, his children and his marriage. He didn't fall into bed with this other woman once or even twice. He created a sustained relationship with her.

Would you truly feel compassion for your DH if he carried on an affair for years, one which required him to make choices and plans to keep it going? I wouldn't.

OP's DH didn't "find himself" in a "situation." He created a situation of his own volition.[/quote]

Yeah, I have been cheated on, and I did forgive, but it wasn't based on some lofty, emotionally distant sense that he just "found himself" in a situation. It was freaking hard work. I get human nature. I GET IT. That doesn't make it any less traumatic.

And OP, you should know that "long lost sweetheart" affairs are especially pernicious. It sounds like that isn't your issue here, since he ended it with OW. But of course we yearn to be seen as our young, "whole life in front of us" selves and our childhood sweetheart mirrors that person to us. [/quote]

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