Reply to Your kids have ONE shot at life. What are you doing to help them be successful?

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Reply to "Your kids have ONE shot at life. What are you doing to help them be successful?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think that it's important to help your child have good self esteem and mental health. I would say that, the thing that likely impeded me the most was that I had a toxic mother and suffered from poor self esteem and mental health because of her abuse. So one of the things I'm doing is to really just build a great relationship with my child. I don't have the same issues my mother did, but I try to examine my parenting to ensure I'm not doing things that are damaging. To me this is like: not yelling, letting him be his own person rather than who I think he should be, letting him have some independence as appropriate, allowing him to feel his feelings. not judging and criticizing him, being supportive and understanding and open to talk, stuff like that that might be obvious but wasn't necessarily so very obvious to me because of how I was raised.

OH -- and I'm sure someone already mentioned this, but it's been shown in studies that the parenting matters very little (unless it's very bad). Like, twins placed in two different adoptive homes ended up just about the same exact level of successful no matter the parenting or advantages that one family had over another. So I keep that in mind as well.

I think also about "parenting the kid you have." It might look like I'm overscheduling my child with sports because I'm being an ambitious sports parent or whatever, but actually I am not, and I have figured out that he is happiest when he gets a ton of exercise and gets to play games and compete. That's what works for him, so that's what I do.

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