Anonymous wrote:You have one life but you have multiple shots at become successful. Don't put that kind of pressure on kids

+1 “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” - Winston Churchill

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gave them tall grandparents. They predict my son will be 6'6". Can't do much better than that.

Anything over 6’3” is awkwardly tall

so true

I think that it's important to help your child have good self esteem and mental health. I would say that, the thing that likely impeded me the most was that I had a toxic mother and suffered from poor self esteem and mental health because of her abuse. So one of the things I'm doing is to really just build a great relationship with my child. I don't have the same issues my mother did, but I try to examine my parenting to ensure I'm not doing things that are damaging. To me this is like: not yelling, letting him be his own person rather than who I think he should be, letting him have some independence as appropriate, allowing him to feel his feelings. not judging and criticizing him, being supportive and understanding and open to talk, stuff like that that might be obvious but wasn't necessarily so very obvious to me because of how I was raised.

OH -- and I'm sure someone already mentioned this, but it's been shown in studies that the parenting matters very little (unless it's very bad). Like, twins placed in two different adoptive homes ended up just about the same exact level of successful no matter the parenting or advantages that one family had over another. So I keep that in mind as well.

I think also about "parenting the kid you have." It might look like I'm overscheduling my child with sports because I'm being an ambitious sports parent or whatever, but actually I am not, and I have figured out that he is happiest when he gets a ton of exercise and gets to play games and compete. That's what works for him, so that's what I do.

Not being unkind but your child is 5! Here goes as mine college and college graduates and they are “ successful”:

Love them, hug them, read to them, cook with them, have them pick up with you, make dinner together, eat together, speak kindly about other parent, teachers, others. Have experiences with them and see what they gravitate towards. Set standards for manners, hard work, and commitments they make. Model and Teach them financial responsibility. Discuss alcohol, drugs, and sex. Accept who they tell you/ show you they are.

Public, private, tutors, sports, music, etc, etc. does not matter at end of day. Hone in on who they truly are and they will be successful.

Anonymous wrote:Life is not one shot. It is filled with mistakes and learning experiences for both parents and kids. No one is perfect.

+1

I'm teaching my kid about growth mindset.

The valedictorian at my high school killed himself and I wonder if the parent expectations we’re just too much and started this early

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gave them tall grandparents. They predict my son will be 6'6". Can't do much better than that.

Translation: you did nothing.

Ugh that was my point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll go first. We spent $30k for my son to attend a private Kindergarten that helped him excel during the first Covid year.

We also bought a home at the top of our price range to ensure he is in the best public school district for elementary school.

Your turn! It doesn’t have to be education related.

What you’ve done for kid is to be wealthy?

Wow.

DP. What I have done for my kids is to be wealthy AND white. I also only had boys. Top that .

Ha ha ha. There are lots of ways to help your kids, or to screw them up for that matter. It’s almost never just one shot at anything.

Just pray that they don't develop a mental illness. Mine did. It doesn't run in our family so I can't blame it on crappy genes. You can do everything "right" and your child could still end up with issues.

Anonymous wrote:🙄
I am doing my best to raise kids who are well balanced. OP you sound insufferable.

I couldn't have said it better. OP is teaching her children to be insufferable snobs, just like their mother.

Anonymous wrote:Gave them tall grandparents. They predict my son will be 6'6". Can't do much better than that.

Translation: you did nothing.

I model healthy emotional regulation and support my child in learning to accept and manage their own feelings. My goal is to raise a person who feels secure in themselves and is emotionally resilient. I think it’s the foundation of everything else. Also: free.

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else hearing Eminem music in their head when they saw the subject line?

Welp, now I do!

Anonymous wrote:Left the US and insane American parenting like this

+1, got my kids the hell out of DC.