Reply to MIL Changing Plans to See Favorite Grandchild

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can we talk about the fact that you and your husband allowed gma to be obsessed with son yet you have another child? Why would you allow that? [/quote]

This. And OP describes it as damaging to her daughter and they *still* allow it? OP regardless of your MIL issues you and your DH are clearly very flawed parents to allow this to have gone on. Let me guess, son is your favorite child too?[/quote]

These statements make no sense. We don’t “allow” other people to feel certain ways. We aren’t responsible for each other’s feelings. Grandma feels how she feels and acts how she acts. As parents or otherwise all we can do is control how we do or don’t respond.

So in this situation, how much information is given, and what they give of their own time and space. [/quote]

We absolutely allow people to behave in certain ways. Grandma can think the sun literally shines out of her sons backside but the minute that favoritism was apparent to her daughter, OP or her DH needed to shut it down “Prudence, your bringing gifts to Larlo and not Larla/Complimenting Larlo while scolding Larla/inviting only Larlo on visits needs to stop because it’s harmful to our children and their relationship with each other” is not that hard to say— and I would certainly have shut it down before I let my daughter *be damaged* by another adults behavior. OP let her daughter down big time and is only worried about her own petty need for attention.[/quote]

Pp here. Ok, I get what you mean here. By not allow you mean be direct and set a boundary with clear expectations of what works and doesn’t work. I agree - this is necessary. If grandma actually obliges or not is then on her, but the saying it is absolutely on the person with the complaint.
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