Reply to 13 month long maternity leave

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The more negative response are likely from people with tougher babies (so you have to be extremely rigid about napping on time in a crib, you have to have them in a quiet boring spot to feed, they get grouchy in carriers, and scream their heads off in they’re over something).  Maternity leave with this type of babies isn’t fun - you can’t do much, it’s very isolating, it’s too stressful to meet a friend for lunch just to not able to finish a sentence and inhale your food etc

If you have a go with the flow baby of course it’s great if you can basically do whatever you want with baby strapped on or passed to a friend or flexible with a baby sitter or gym childcare or whatever. It’s amazing not living in fear that you’re going to mess up night sleep even more and end up even more exhausted just because they’re napping on the go

I had one of each.  You don’t “make” your babies relaxed or high strung, they just are.  I too patted myself on the back for all the good things about myself thinking I had done all the right things to make those parts of him so good, then I got kicked on my ass and very humbled by my second

So OP - you may love it, you may hate it, you may have tons of fun or live constantly on the clock to ensure baby can be down exactly on time, just go into it knowing it can go lots of different ways and don’t feel like you’re somehow messing up if you can’t frolic around museums and lunch with friends all day [/quote]

Same thought process here. OP if you have a colicky or high needs baby then it will look a bit different then the oh we hiked and had lunch dates group. I think my baby and I would have fared better if I did have maternity leave but I wouldnt have been able to be alone with him all day. I went back to work PT (10hrs/week) at 4 weeks, working from home while being solo with a baby. My baby could not be in the car until 4/5 months without screaming the entire time. At all. He had really bad reflux, laryngomalacia and CMPI (undiagnosed at that time)- actually stopped breathing on the way home from my 6 week ob check. 
I wish I had the 1 year maternity leave so I could have a break to recoup and chill out. To take naps when he did and take walks/explore. The first year was extremely difficult and I think having to work somedays saved me and other days made it much worse.

Im extremely jealous and you should take this time to heal. Make sure you have lots of support and help. Find some mommy and me groups, a favorite trail, some good books. Keep things low-key and if you have the funds, get a babysitter after a few months so you can do something completely on your own. Have a routine but not a schedule.

Also your maternity leave is not a good reason for Dad to check out. He should have solo time with your child in the evenings or early mornings. [/quote]

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