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[quote=Anonymous][quote]The number is going to be higher the less confident the woman is that she can support herself/a family on her own.

When we got engaged DH made just under $90k and I made $100k. We were aggressively paying off student loans and living cheaply. Now he makes ~125k and I make ~360k and we live pretty well (cheap tastes, but a wonderful nest egg). But he was always marriage material because he comes from a long line of good, involved dads, he was looking to be in love and build a partnership with someone, and we get along incredibly well. He could make half what he makes now and still have those things and we'd be fine. If he made double what he makes now but you took one of those things off the table, he would not be marriage material.

If I was worried that I could never personally make good money I would put a higher emphasis on his income, but it's a family pot and ours is sufficiently full.[/quote]

I agree.  I've always made more money than my DH.  His income was not a factor in my decision to have a relationship with him.  He's a good life partner and we are on the same page when it comes to financial matters.  He had debt when he came to the relationship but he was willing to live within our means and on our shared goals.  If I wanted a certain lifestyle, I would not look to someone else to provide that for me.  A man is not a plan.

We've never had more than a combined HHI of $200K.  Yet, we own our home and have 3 kids.  Sure, our kids go to majority-minority schools in Fairfax County and a good number of DCUMers would cringe to live in my 1960s split foyer.  But we're happy.  Our kids went to an in-home family daycare which was great and something we could do on our income.  We've got no local family and it was hard at times but we owned our choices.  Being on the same page is why it works well for us. [/quote]

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