Reply to Why Men Cheat - How Can I Break This Cycle?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Novelty and youth really do have an impact on sex drive. I think it's a mistake for people to pretend otherwise. [/quote]

Bingo.

It's like a new vs used car. You have to put a lot of maintenance into it just to keep it running ok.

There is no replacement for novelty. That's why men are surprised that more effort still leads to less sex. Duh. You aren't new to her anymore. Not your fault. Ok, not always your fault but sometimes it is. [/quote]

Not for everyone. Some people chase novelty but after a while it turns out it’s just as boring.

Some prefer intimacy and being in love. You can still feel that way after over a decade if you have a real connection.

Don’t confuse novelty itself for the projection that happens when you don’t know someone well. If you really know someone and feel known by them it can keep getting better.[/quote]

It can keep getting better. But statistically, younger women in new relationships are going to be more eager for sex than a middle-aged woman who has been married to the same guy for 20 years. Even if he's a really good dude. And I keep hammering on this because I think it's important to recognize that sometimes -- perhaps even often times -- reduced desire by the wife isn't a function of effort or merit on the part of the husband. Having a clear eyed understanding that a libido mismatch might not be anybody's fault can help couples navigate the issue instead of blaming it on each other's shortcomings. [/quote]

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