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[quote=Anonymous]I’m white and married to an Indian (born here, his parents immigrated).  The way I’ve seen it work with his cousins is that the parents and/in-laws move in or live nearby or take shifts visiting long term.  Im SAH now but worked for a while after my kids were young until my own mother needed care.  My In Laws are lovely but there has never been a serious suggestion that they move to be closer to us and won’t visit for more than 5 days at a stretch.  Not sure why that is exactly. I do wonder if it’s me and fact they wouldn’t feel entirely comfortable living with us since I’m not of their culture?  But also my husband always mentioned he does not want his parents living closer bc they’d drive him crazy.  I have to admit to being envious of the family support his cousins have bc I could have managed my mom’s care with my kids and work if his parents stepped in.  At the same time, I have enjoyed being able to spend time with my kids and am in a PT grad school currently so I can return to work to be timed when my oldest is driving which will make everything logistically easier.

Anyway, in relation to OP’s post, I think you are right and sah Indian women in the US are pretty rare but all of the high powered dual income couples I know have very involved parents. Perhaps they also use Nannie’s too but having grandparents around locally to provide back up care when nanny is sick or kid home of school and someone that you trust to make decisions in your absence if you are in a meeting/traveling is really the make or break of being able to truly “lean in”.   [/quote]

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