Reply to My 3 year old is a brat

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Reply to "My 3 year old is a brat"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I see it as it's the actions as what you want to nip, not the feelings. Feelings are what they are and can be intense, and I see validating them as helps give the child language and understanding so that next time he/she can exert control over them. [/quote]

No, it's actually feelings you want to nip - not all feelings obviously, but inappropriate, undesirable feelings that we are currently discussing. Feelings can be changed and suppressed, and there is nothing special or authentic about them. It is by suppressing them that you exert control, not by dwelling on them or talking about them. In fact, the more you dwell on them, the more you prime them and the more you are their prisoner.

[quote=Anonymous]Just someone who's parent attempted to do a lot of nipping, and who has a great deal of anger issues today. I wish I'd had more help processing my intense feelings as a kid.[/quote]

It is very unlikely that the issues you have today have anything to do with your parents or their supposed suppression of your feelings. Most likely, you have a certain type of temperament, which first announced itself when you were little but is visible today. Please, do not blame your parents, they are not going to be around forever. Try to be as forgiving of them as you are probably of your children especially now when they are older.[/quote]

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